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What did you wish your partner has understood during the postpartum period?

3 replies

Nina90 · 24/04/2024 06:15

Did you feel they understood your experience and were they supportive? Had they prepared in a particular way/read about it?

I found it a period during which my relationship became rather strained. And second time round, just based on some conversations we have had, I am worried about it happening again. I just felt
so much resentment that he didn’t ‘get’ various things - even though I was probably rather clumsy and grumpy in my attempts to explain how I felt.

Examples included not appearing to understand how hard breastfeeding was, particularly to start with. How tired I was, doing the vast majority of the baby care day and night. How much I missed having any quiet time to myself. Why sex was the last thing on my mind for months.. To this day he still refers to my mat leave as my ‘career break’ - which annoys me because it was anything but a ‘break’!

He is in many ways a wonderful partner and is much more involved with our daughter now she is older but the post partum period just seemed to be an absolute blind spot.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MiddleParking · 24/04/2024 06:21

Your partner did understand all of those things, he’s just a misogynist. And certainly not a wonderful partner. Calling your maternity leave a career break is a deliberate attempt to put you down. What’s he saying this time around?

FTMaz · 24/04/2024 22:54

Hi Op,
my partner has struggled with the lack of sex. I can tell that he is trying his hardest to not make it a ‘thing’ and be understanding but sometimes he slips up! He is pretty good though as he is an older Dad and listened/listens to podcasts on the subject so I think that’s helped him. I do think men who are the ‘earners’ think that looking after the baby is not easy..but easier than being in full time work.

FTMaz · 24/04/2024 22:54

MiddleParking · 24/04/2024 06:21

Your partner did understand all of those things, he’s just a misogynist. And certainly not a wonderful partner. Calling your maternity leave a career break is a deliberate attempt to put you down. What’s he saying this time around?

Not particularly helpful….

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