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Miss co-sleeping with toddler after birth of newborn

3 replies

kkalicekk · 31/01/2024 21:08

Don't know what the point of me writing this post is, but I feel like it will help to get it off my chest, so here it goes!

DS1 (22 months) has never been a great sleeper and up until 3 weeks ago used to wake up crying in his cot every night at around 1am and would sleep the rest of the night in our bed.

Despite him spending the night accidently kicking me and laying on top of me... I loved it and it meant we could all get a decent (ish) night's sleep with a few cuddles in between.

Decision was made the week before DS2's birth (ELCS) that the sleeping arrangement was not going to work, DS1 would be disturbed by DS2's frequent awakenings as well as random kicks whilst recovering from c-section were not something I wanted to experience. So we changed his cot into a cot bed in a hope he'd sleep better - did sleep slightly better however still waking up early hours of morning and taking a very long time to settle. As a last resort we moved mattress from spare bedroom next to cotbed and husband now sleeps next to DS1 all night and manages to catch him before he fully wakes up and settle him.

Which means I'm left in our super kingsize bed alonw with 2 week old DS2 in his next to me cot. I don't mind doing the newborn nights alone, I'm exclusively breastfeeding for a second time and husband is far more useful with toddler than being constantly woken up to me feeding newborn!

Only thing is I am missing having DS1 in bed with me (and husband however I know he'll be back with me hopefully soon once DS1 sleeps better). I spend the night yearning for him and get very tearful when I think about the fact our co sleeping era is over. I'm guessing postpartum hormones are to blame for this feeling but my god I just miss him like crazy. Am I being ridiculous? Has anyone else experienced this feeling of intense loss when their toddler moved into their own room?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
boomingaround · 31/01/2024 21:19

Why don't you bring him back in with you? If you're EBF I'm guessing you wake up to feed before baby actually cries so they won't wake up your toddler.

Or if not, then remember you can still sleep with him when the newborn days are over.

I feel you and hear you though. There's a very particular feeling of grief for your first born when your newborn arrives. It does settle.

padmorn · 31/01/2024 21:26

I'm the same op. My son is 3 and for the first year of his life we would have the most amazing naps and cuddles together, I wish I could turn back time and really Cherish it. I feel sad thinking about it. My daughter is nearly 1 and very clingy and loud so I've not been able to do this since her arrival.

padmorn · 31/01/2024 21:26

My son is 2 not 3

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