Mental health issues after traumatic birth

[SHFsMum]

Hi everyone,

I had my baby 6 weeks ago after being induced and it was honestly quite a traumatic experience. I had the balloon, waters broken and then forceps delivery with episiotomy. I had dreamt of a natural water birth so all of these interventions made me feel like a complete failure.

I found the whole process extremely invasive, violating and like I’ve lost my dignity. I’m now struggling to come to terms with it all and feel sick whenever I think about it.

I can’t bear to look at images of women in hospital with their babies as it brings it all back. I’m also still really sore around my scar and think I might have granulation tissue and I’ve recently started getting twinges in my back that feel like the onset of a contraction.

Would love to hear from other mums who experienced similar and how they overcame it. It’s starting to affect my relationship with my husband and I’m terrified of not being a good mum to our baby.

Thanks for any replies in advance.

I'm sorry to hear you had that experience OP. You're not alone. I had a traumatic birth experience too, I'm 4 years down the line now.

My birth experience made me extremely anxious and hypervigilant which resulted in very high stress levels and angry outbursts especially in situations where I wasn't in control. I ended up having a course of CBT via an NHS referral which helped me so much and which I would 100% recommend.

Time does also heal although I still can't really watch TV shows where someone is giving birth and I still can't press the go button on having another child as much as I would love one.

If you can find it in you to reach out and get some mental health support please do. I was in so much pain before I did this. Sending love & support x

Thanks so much for your reply @Elzibells and I’m sorry to hear you had a negative experience too. I think I’ll reach out for some support and can hopefully start to heal from the whole experience. I hope your recovery is going well and you’re feeling more at ease with your birth story. Sending much love x

Please do reach out. You could try a birth debrief which can help you understand what happened and why, but I'd also seek some therapy.
I had a traumatic birth 19 years ago (I didn't think I needed to deal with it because I couldn't remember most of it and I was told I should think myself lucky I survived and dc was ok) I ended up having treatment last year for other things and this came up and I realised it had had a big impact on my life.

I would definitely attend a birth reflections appointment at your hospital to go through the birth and your experiences, it has helped me get more closure over how I was treated in hospital recently and that was 3 years ago.

Dear OP, I feel for you. Giving birth is a huge experience and you are still recovering. Please be kind to yourself. St six weeks you are using immense energy to care for your newborn, and to recover physically from the birth. You very likely are suffering from lack of sleep. You realise you need to recover mentally from the birth as well.
Please remind yourself that you are doing well. Another few weeks should mean your body has had more chance to recover and your baby will probably go a little longer between feeds and begin to coo and smile at you. You can and will recover from the trauma of the birth. It will take time.
I’m not trying to minimise the effect of your trauma. But I don’t want to maximise it either if you see what I mean.
Try to eat nourishing food, get a little exercise, rest if you can. I suggest you see your GP and see what they suggest. I would also ask for an appointment with a women’s pelvic physio who can hopefully assess your body and help you heal, maybe give you specific exercises, and hopefully reassure you.
Hang on in there, you can do this.

Hi. I struggled a lot mentaly after a traumatic birth nearly four years ago now. Forceps, episiotomy and a long while to
Heal. I was seeing GP regular for months and started on anti depressants. I ate well plenty of peotien, took probiotics, went for a walk daily and increaces duration as i went on. Time helped. And now i honestly never think about it really and am off the anti biotics. I hope you are ok ❤️ its difficult. I also had a lot of mental
Issues re the episiotomy scar. I went to see a mummy MOT physio who confirmed i had healed and went to see a consultant also for a internal check. This did help me too just to know that i was healed. My healing took longer than usual
Which i think contributed to how i was feeling. Speak to your GP. Dont be afraid to ask for help. Xx

I would say seek counselling with someone with trauma experience. I waited 2 years before I sought help and I think it would have been better to get help sooner. I did heal and I went on to have another baby and the birth was a very healing experience.

I didn't have a traumatic birth but it still took 3-4 months to me to mentally process the birth. For me I had a quick birth and I laboured through the middle of the night and in my head I went to bed pregnant and woke up with a baby I couldn't process the gap.
I did a compassion focussed therapy group therapy course when my daughter was 6 months old when I had severe pnd and a few of the other women had had traumatic births or experiences in the surrounding time. You won't be alone so do reach out for help x