Think I have post natal depression

[Okayletsgoo]

Since I had my baby 10 weeks ago I've been feeling very down and like I can't cope. I cry most days because everything is just so overwhelming. This is my first child and pregnancy and the birth was very hard for me so I think that has something to do with it. I suffer with anxiety and have done for a few years and have low self esteem and i just don't feel like a very good mum. My partner is supportive and tries to help but I can't stop feeling so sad and miserable when this should be the happiest time in my life. I also hate the way my body looks now and just feel generally crap. Should I contact my GP or is this normal?

[PlantDoctor]

Definitely contact your GP and health visitor. 10 weeks is a long time to be feeling so low. Really glad your partner is supportive. I felt like a terrible mum in the midst of PND. Looking back now I know I was doing a great job, but your mind plays awful tricks on you. Please ask for professional help. It's a very common mental health problem and there are a lot of things that can help you feel better quite quickly. xx

[Okayletsgoo]

Thank you for replying. I have an appointment on Thursday for her jabs so I think I'll speak to them then. It's just so hard when you see how other people cope so well and think why can't I be like that? I don't like going out with her on my own as I get worried about all sorts of things so only go out with my partner.

[YukoandHiro]

I second everything @PlantDoctor says- make sure you reach out now. I didn't get any help until 8 months PP with my first and wish I'd done something earlier as the counselling really helped.
When I had my second I realised how ill I had been with my first when I looked back

[sprigatito]

You've done brilliantly to recognise that you're suffering PND and reach out here for help. That's a huge positive step you've taken. Definitely talk to your GP, there is really effective help for PND and believe me, you will look back on this once the fog has lifted and feel proud of yourself for getting through it.

Stop putting pressure on yourself to enjoy everything. This period with a tiny baby is really bloody hard. It's not the happiest time of anyone's life in reality - yes, your baby is incredible and wonderful etc, but you're knackered beyond belief, your life has changed forever and your body is still recovering from the most difficult thing it will ever do. Lean on the people around you, tell them how you are feeling and tell them explicitly what they can do to help you - and let them. Sod housework, sod everything except recovering and resting and coping with your baby. Let yourself off the hook for feeling awful; PND isn't something you can snap out of, it will take time and support. I'm sending you a huge squashy hug

[PlantDoctor]

I remember the feeling well, and I'm sorry you're going through it. Newborns are very hard work. It absolutely gets easier. You're almost out of the fourth trimester. I found parenting much easier and more fun after that. Hopefully you will too, especially if you get some help with your low mood.

Some people have very easy babies, others are more difficult. I know it's easier said than done but try not to compare yourself to others, especially when they might only tell you the good bits. I absolutely remember sitting on the bed holding DD while we both cried. I was utterly shocked with how hard everything was, despite doing all my research before hand. But once the clouds started to lift I felt more confident each day.

[Okayletsgoo]

Thank you so much, reading those messages made me feel a bit teary! I've always wanted children so when I found out I was pregnant I was so so excited! I just didn't expect to feel this way. I do speak to my partner and mum about how I feel and they are so supportive and encouraging I think I'm my own worst enemy tbh. Honestly thank you for your kind words, they've made me feel better about it all ❤️

[PlantDoctor]

How are you doing after your appointment? Hope things are a little brighter. Xx

[Okayletsgoo]

I didn't get the chance to say anything tbh, it was all a bit hectic with her getting her jabs! I am feeling a bit better though thank you x

[Firsttimemummie]

@Okayletsgoo i’m 8 weeks PP and I’m in the same boat, I plucked the courage to talk to my gp and they said to talk to my health visitor, honestly they’re so understanding and reassuring, they put a message onto my gp to start some medication (only been taking them for 6 days so no results yet) but I know it will get better and so it will for you! I think the most upsetting thing is turning pregnant and getting so excited to have your bubba and when they come you have a massive rain cloud over you 😔, the weather doesn’t help but like you I struggle to take him out on my own, bring on the sunny springtime 💕. Talk to your health visitor/gp because it will really help, don’t let that rain cloud take over and get you back. Please feel free to private message me if you need a chat, sometimes it helps talking to someone who knows what it’s like x