Worried mum

[gertie2023]

Advise please.
I am a first time mum, daughter is 6 weeks old, don't get me wrong I love her and everything has clicked into place. But I have a nagging feeling / thoughts that I might do something wrong / something bad may happen to her. Each morning I am relieved that she is ok. But by the evening I am starting to feel disconnected from her-like if I connect with her too much the bad thing might happen and I am concerned that I am not engaging with her enough. My husband is back at work now after the festive break and I have an amazing support network - just feel lonely sometimes as just me and my daughter. Do I just need to adjust to the new norm and get on with it?

Hi there, congrats first of all! I had this too, I have a 3 month old now and only just started to do more things with him. Remember that you've just given birth to a baby and will be feeling so much physically and mentally. The fact you care shows you are doing the best you can and that your baby is loved and that's what babies need.

Maybe make a checklist on your phone that you can tick off as you go along? So it remind you what has been done during the day and also gives sense of accomplishment when done.

I downloaded baby tracker app initial days and it helped me keep track of feed times, nappy changes and sleep etc.

Also, it helped me to have a baby monitor and I took my phone with me everywhere like bathroom and kitchen etc but also I figured that I also recorded times with my son and me like cute moments of us talking to each other and me hugging him etc and edited it using those Inshot app and it helped me capture cute memories. It gave me wanting to do it more even though it's same things everyday you realise how blessed it makes you feel and you will one day look back and think I made it feeling.

Also, watching YouTube vids such as day in the life with 3 month old etc helped me or give me an idea of a routine and structure and ideas of activities I can do.

Take lots of photos and vids as memories, journal as well on phone or paper. Speak to your friends and family etc.

You got this.

Hi - thank you for the advice. I will defo look up ideas on how to interact with my baby.
:) x

Is there a chance @gertie2023 that the anxiety might be PND?

I would talk to the PANDAS Foundation today and talk through how you're feeling

Six weeks was about the time I really started to struggle with anxiety and invasive thoughts. I was convinced something bad was going to happen to my baby and was constantly worried that I might accidentally hurt them (was scared of dropping hot drinks on them, scared of crossing roads in case I let go of the buggy, didn’t want to use stairs incase I tripped while holding them etc) it really impacted my life and was making me really unhappy, I didn’t know that invasive thoughts were a thing. I googled it and realised it was a symptom of anxiety and can be linked to ocd/repetitive negative thoughts. I then shared how I was feeling with my sister and partner and I felt so much better. I now recognise that level of anxiety occurs when I’m really tired and burnt out. Talk to someone you trust and get help if you need it, get as much rest as you can. Take photos of the things you do with your baby to remind yourself that you’ve had a good day and baby is happy and healthy. Get out and see friends/go to baby groups to keep yourself busy so you’re not going over negative thoughts in your head. You are not alone, so many mothers struggle with MH and this is a tough time of year too, and it’s really hard when partners go back to work. I hope you feel better soon. Xx

Thanks all :) feeling brighter after talking to doctor x