Hi everyone,
Hope you all are well and your LOs.
I am a first time mum. I have PND which I'm awaiting counselling for. Birth was fast (3hr 43mins) water breaking to baby on me, gas and air no epidural time, and then being so drowsy etc not remembering a lot of my birth. Placenta removal was horrendous it was the worst part , I genuinely think the lady put her hand up there it was so painful and although they gave me gas and air to shut me up it was very hard as she was saying she is checking for clotting but after my debrief they said no that wouldn't be the case it was probably her fingers but because I just gave birth it all probs felt wobby, but I'll take her word for it as I can't prove I'm right or wrong. But I'm grateful LO and me are safe.
Anyway that birth set PND off as I felt upset I couldn't remember much.
Now I'm slowly coming to terms with it and mumsnetters have been such a great help. Very much appreciated.
The thing I'm getting sad about now is this. My boy will be 3 months in 3 days iA. I've realised when he wakes up from sleeping, he will just chew his hands a lot which he does during day too but atleast I can distract him by feeding him or playing with him etc. The thing making me sad is that, he will wake up middle of night and start chewing his hands until he realises this isn't milk and then starts crying. It takes a good 5 minutes till he cries. Makes me sad because I feel like why doesn't he cry, doesn't he want me first thing when he wakes up? And isn't 3 month too early to even self soothe? I know I sound crazy right now as people would love this I am aware, but it's my emotions which are getting to me. I thought babies cry when they wake up and need their caregiver to be soothed.