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Postnatal health

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Regretting having another baby

4 replies

daphnelove · 05/08/2023 18:40

My 2nd DC was born 3 weeks ago. I was hoping for a straight forward ejective section & also was naive enough to think he wouldn't be an ICU/NNU baby as his sister was 4 years previously. Sadly he did end up in NNU for a week with viral Meningitis. We have been home a week.

Clearly it was a traumatic time. He is a lovely baby but I look at him & think WTF have I done. Why did I have another. I look at the 4YO & think why didn't I just stick with you. I've gone back to square 1 & I'm an idiot for doing so. I'm already highly anxious & this experience has not helped. I know people will say talk to my MW which I have done & I've been honest with them & friends & family & said I feel very low at present. I think it's the trauma mixed in with baby blues. Im speaking with a counsellor next week & I've started Sertraline. But I just wondered if this feeling will ever go. DS had apnoeas which presented with his illness & although this is common in neonates fighting a nasty infection & we have been told he shouldn't technically have them again, they can't say no 100% & it terrifies me.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 06/08/2023 08:03

Wow you e been through what sounds like a very traumatic time. Seeking medication and counselling was the right thing to do.

I think you need to give yourself time, it's normal to think WTF have I done when you're trying to juggle a newborn and older child and adjust to the new family life. Yours is probably more amplified due to DS' illness.

Is there anything they can give you to reassure you over the Apnea?

daphnelove · 06/08/2023 09:50

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto No, just their words really! Which as they are medical professionals I should probably take onboard but it is hard.

OP posts:
Glitterstars · 12/08/2023 02:55

I felt like this and it was awful I wasn’t well at all really but baby is now 9 months and all is good. Couldn’t imagine life without him now and he’s such a fab baby. Eldest adores him. I’ve come off my medication now and feeling ok without it, I still have the odd moment of wow this is really hard but I cope alot better now.

Morewineplease10 · 12/08/2023 03:01

I think feeling like this if fairly normal with a new baby tbh - and that's without the difficulty with illness etc.

What's your support system like op? Don't be afraid to ask for help. It will get easier.

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