My 2nd DC was born 3 weeks ago. I was hoping for a straight forward ejective section & also was naive enough to think he wouldn't be an ICU/NNU baby as his sister was 4 years previously. Sadly he did end up in NNU for a week with viral Meningitis. We have been home a week.
Clearly it was a traumatic time. He is a lovely baby but I look at him & think WTF have I done. Why did I have another. I look at the 4YO & think why didn't I just stick with you. I've gone back to square 1 & I'm an idiot for doing so. I'm already highly anxious & this experience has not helped. I know people will say talk to my MW which I have done & I've been honest with them & friends & family & said I feel very low at present. I think it's the trauma mixed in with baby blues. Im speaking with a counsellor next week & I've started Sertraline. But I just wondered if this feeling will ever go. DS had apnoeas which presented with his illness & although this is common in neonates fighting a nasty infection & we have been told he shouldn't technically have them again, they can't say no 100% & it terrifies me.