Lochia Worries + PP Anxiety

[Saecee]

Hi everyone 👋

T/W - Lochia, blood, medical events

I am 15 days pp with DD2. DD1 is 9 so I have all but forgotten what the pp period was like and struggling to find reference points.

I’ll start by saying that I have struggled with health anxiety since about 6 months after my first baby, but up until about 3 days pp with DD2, it had been under control for a long time (almost 4 years!)

It was a lot of hard work to get to that point through various therapies and consciously practising them every day of life.

Its reemergence is all the more painful because I was able to have the blissful, peaceful, gorgeous home/water birth that I had planned with our rainbow girl. No interventions/stitches/tears and an incredible midwifery team behind me. She is also beyond perfection. I feel soooo guilty that I am not enjoying the pp period because I’m so anxious.

A few hours after her birth I started feeling really unwell and upon the midwife’s investigation, found that I had a deviated fundus and needed to pass a clot that was irritating my cervix. We managed to do this and I started to feel much better, although felt weak and looked anaemic for days after (I’m taking iron). I did not have a primary PPH with blood loss estimated at 200mls. My placenta came away with the injection. (Also had this with DD1). I did try for a physiological 3rd stage but didn’t hang about when it didn’t seem to be happening. With the injection it came within a matter of minutes and appeared complete + complete membranes. In the first week I passed 2 more sizeable clots which were checked by the midwife and deemed no concern.

While I recognise that I have been majorly triggered by the after birth event/clots, I now can’t stop worrying about my lochia. It is literally all I think about. The worry is stopping me from going out or doing much of anything so that it doesn’t come on heavier. The thought of my partner returning to work this coming Monday is filling me with dread, and I have no idea how I’ll cope.

The first week followed the normal pattern of pretty heavy bleeding which I did expect and it did lighten, however I feel like I can barely put on a load of washing or do a feed without having moderate bright red blood again. I am particularly anxious today because there was a lot of blood in the loo when I went this morning (after a night of cluster feeding). There is no smell, not unwell, not soaking pads per hour etc all the things they tell you to look out for, but I’m just feeling that it should be settling at least a little bit? In between the heavier red it’s watery brown/red. I am terrified of late pph (terrified is putting it lightly - it’s an all-consuming series of intrusive thoughts that I’ll bleed out when I’m home alone with my kids).

Right now it’s like I’m living a waking nightmare with the terror. I got support from my midwife (since discharged), my health visitor and also our maternity assessment unit who aren’t concerned. Again, I recognise that safety-seeking behaviour and reassurance are both huge aspects to health anxiety. My midwife put a postpartum mental health referral in for me before I was discharged, so I am waiting to hear from them too.

Can anyone reassure me about lochia in that it doesn’t always follow the textbook description of the 3 stages? Is it normal to still have cramping/more bleeding after breastfeeds 15 days on?

Has anyone else been in a similar situation with regards to health anxiety in the postpartum period?

All replies really appreciated. ♥️

Totally normal. It often gets worse again when you start moving around more following birth. I always found it was heaviest when I had a busy day on my feet a lot. But nothing about what you're experiencing sounds abnormal in any way. But I don't know how much reassurance any of this will give you as it sounds like it may be more related to postnatal anxiety, and sometimes logic doesn't really work when it's more of a mental health issue. You definitely need to push HV/GP for support if the anxiety is as debilitating as it sounds.

Oh and I found the afterpains with DD2 were far worse than DD1, which apparently is very common. I got cramping after breastfeeding for a while. But it's a good thing - it's your uterus working to return to its usual size.

Hi OP

Firstly congratulations on your baby, and I’m so sorry your health anxiety is clouding the newborn period. I struggle awfully with health anxiety too (have done for years) and managed with CBT until I fell pregnant last year, since then a miscarriage and actual first baby have caused the health anxiety to come back with a vengeance and my coping techniques aren’t as effective as they were!

My lochia was a huge concern for me, as it did not follow the textbook 3 stages. I went to the light red/ almost greeny colour in week two. Week three and four I then went back to clots again and it stayed red until week 6! I only stopped wearing pads at 7 weeks and it always always came on heavier after cluster feeding or if I overdid it (even a long walk would kick it back off again).
I was in touch with the maternity unit and midwife who all assured me that it was normal, in particular if breastfeeding. Had it continued past 8 weeks I would have gone back for a review for my own sanity, but it stopped like I said between 6 and 7 weeks.

I was absolutely terrified of an infection and sepsis and did my temperature 4/5 times a day (still didn’t reassure me). In hindsight wish I had relaxed a bit more as the newborn days are tough enough as it is and we really don’t need any extra anxiety in an already stressful time.

sorry for the ramble! But in short, completely understand where your head is at, and can assure you based on my experience that the 3 stages were not followed in order in my example and now 4 months pp everything is fine. In the meantime I’d chase up that post natal mental health referral just to check, as any help you can get is better 😊

Wishing you all the best ♥️

I can’t thank both of you enough for your compassion. It took a lot for me to write that post today because I can see and hear the irrationality but it’s still very real.

@Hugasauras That really does help, thank you. I was surprised at the strength of the afterpains with DD2! I’m glad I pushed through those first few worst days because I was at the point of giving up breastfeeding. Thanks for validating me too. 🥰

@Cdoc Congratulations to you too! I am so very sorry about your miscarriage. That was also a major trigger for me ❤️‍🩹 Yes, temperature checking is a big one for me too. I’ve resisted the urge as much as I can, or it can really spiral. Infection and sepsis are 2 of my biggest fears also. Thank you so much for your thoughtful and detailed reply. Really pleased to hear that you are doing good 🥰 I hope I can relax a bit in the coming days and enjoy it. Will definitely chase that referral up. Thanks again ♥️

Low iron levels - anemia - can make women very anxious and down. Have you had your ferritin checked? It’s good you are taking iron but worth checking in case you need to take more or an infusion.
take it with a source of vitamin c. It helps with absorption.
congratulations on your beautiful baby !!

Thanks so much @Fluffycloudsblusky !

I haven’t had the levels checked actually but will request this at the GP. I’m looking a lot less peaky than I was but definitely possible that it’s still low. Thanks for the info! 😊