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Postnatal health

As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

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Original poster

C section two days ago - struggling

31 replies

Oceansinourway · 20/07/2023 05:38

I had an elective section on Tuesday afternoon, following an emergency one in December 2020. So far, recovery from the elective has been awful while the emergency wasn’t too bad! I’m struggling massively to do basic tasks like feed newborn DD, so that’s a big worry, my toddler is lovely but boisterous and I’m finding myself almost a bit scared of him as he is unpredictable and will sometimes launch himself at me (in affection.)

I suppose I am just wondering when it gets better. My stitches hurt and pull a lot and I have some sort of battery operated device attached to me which is a nuisance.

OP posts:

Caspianberg · 20/07/2023 05:44

Are you already home? Isn’t home within 24hr still short after c section?

Sunnysunbun · 20/07/2023 05:46

You’ve had major surgery. Go back to bed. You need rest. Move a bit but you can’t carry on like nothing happened. Rest!

Original poster

Oceansinourway · 20/07/2023 05:46

I got home about 6 yesterday so just over 24 hours.

OP posts:

Original poster

Oceansinourway · 20/07/2023 05:47

@Sunnysunbun thanks i know … I should but it’s hard with two such little children who need me feeling so awful and guilty.

OP posts:

plasticwallet · 20/07/2023 05:52

How long were you in with the emergency? I was home 24hrs after my CS with paracetamol & the pain was bad those first few days.

plasticwallet · 20/07/2023 05:52

I just tested tbh

plasticwallet · 20/07/2023 05:52

rested

WilmaFlintstone1 · 20/07/2023 05:55

Hello OP, do you have help at home? You need to rest after such major surgery.

Original poster

Oceansinourway · 20/07/2023 05:55

plasticwallet · 20/07/2023 05:52

How long were you in with the emergency? I was home 24hrs after my CS with paracetamol & the pain was bad those first few days.

I ended up in for another nearly three days after the emergency. I don’t remember it being this painful - it is tough going. I am just hoping it eases off fairly soon.

OP posts:

Original poster

Oceansinourway · 20/07/2023 05:56

DH is being great but I’m worried he’s going to get exhausted as well.

OP posts:

Telemichus · 20/07/2023 05:56

What sort of device?
are the midwives coming in today? Talk to them, ask them all the questions & find out what other pain relief you can have (btw, are you taking the painkillers you have regularly?)
Don’t let them make you feel bad, you’ve had major abdominal surgery.

what help do you have? Make use of them as much as possible, you need regular rests at this point, with or without baby.

Hercisback · 20/07/2023 06:05

What sort of device? A suction would healer?

You need to rest. Literally feed baby and that's it. Have you got anyone to take the toddler for a bit?

groovergirl · 20/07/2023 06:07

Blimey, that is tough, OP. Not sure I'd have coped with a bouncy toddler plus a newborn plus major surgery!
You definitely need bed rest. Could you pop the toddler in bed with you and read a story or play a simple board game? Ideally you'd have someone to look after him, but I'm guessing that is not possible.
I had DD by EmC and it was at least two weeks before I felt not quite so sore and utterly exhausted. Congrats on your new baby and may you get some quality sleep -- and some practical help at home.

belle1993 · 20/07/2023 06:17

My last section was much harder than my previous 2. I had a 13 month old to look after as well so know your pain.

All I can suggest is keep on top of your pain meds every 4 hours, do try to get up and walk about a little, it helps. Get dh to look after your toddler and bring you things for baby. Try and tell your toddler to be gentle to you and just have cuddles sat or laid down.
I think it was about 4/5 days before the pain started to be more manageable and I was able to do more things. Like I said with my 2 before after 2/3 days I felt ok but not with the last one.

Caspianberg · 20/07/2023 06:19

I think you just have to be strict with toddler. Well your partner, he has to not let them come near you to jump and bounce.

Stay in bed another few days, away from toddler. Toddler can be brought in to say hi, but has to sit on chair next to bed for story etc.. once sitting downstairs try getting a breastfeeding cushion and putting on on so it covered stomach area of toddler sitting with you for a few weeks.

Ponderingwindow · 20/07/2023 06:24

You had major abdominal surgery. You need to rest. Your only job is to feed and cuddle the baby and to sit in bed doing quiet things with your older child like reading or just talking. Don’t change diapers, don’t get food. Your husband is going to be exhausted, but not nearly as exhausted as you, even though you are spending the days either in bed or on the couch.

if you had a similar surgery on your uterus you would be given 4-6 weeks to recover. I know because I’ve had it done when I had a fibroid removed abdominally. Yet when you have a C-section suddenly there is all this pressure to do things when you are supposed to rest as much as your newborn will allow.

PeppermintTeaThenBed · 20/07/2023 06:31

Hi OP, I also had an elective C-section and found recovery awful - it was so so painful, like having a red hot poker pressed against me. Sorry to say but I was in tremendous pain for a week, then it very slowly got a bit less, a bit easier to move / get up. It just takes time - please don't rush yourself. I also found the more I tried to do, the more I would bleed too. On the whole it took me 6 months to feel normal (I'm not saying it was awful pain all that time, just aches and tightness). Don't feel guilty, you've had major surgery - I also had a 2 year old so there was an element of mum guilt too 💔. It will get better. My partner kept on top of pain relief for me too, as its hard to keep track with everything else going on xx

megletthesecond · 20/07/2023 06:36

Bless you. You need to be in bed a lot more and taking it very easy for a bit. It's a myth you have to get moving to heal.
Your DH isn't recovering from a major op so he'll have to do it all for a while. If you have anyone you trust to take your 2yr old for a walk or the park for a bit take them up on it.

Mojitosaremyfavourite · 20/07/2023 06:43

It’s a tough time but it will pass and you will get through it. Congratulations on your newborn! 💕

Please don’t do what I did: I never rested at all after the birth of my second, born by elective section. Literally, I had a three year old at home who was , like yours, boisterous and full of energy- who was also born by emergency section. He was ( is) a lovely child but very full on.
My husband was useless at that time- he went back to work a couple of days after the second child was born. There was no one at all to help ( my mum had recently had a hip replacement) and it was pretty much just me doing everything.

Long story short, I did far too much and my stitches ended up bursting open and I was physically and mentally in a very dark place. I had to return to hospital and had caused a new injury by doing too much and was suffering internally as well as having to be completely restitched.

Eventually I healed physically but it was one of the hardest times of my life and even worse, I developed severe PND , which lasted for three around three years and was undiagnosed all that time. Even now it has left me not in a good place mentally at all. In fact, I have never been the same person since.

Not trying to scare you for one second , I just want you to not be who I was and I want you to take it easy on yourself.
You need to rest, rest and rest. Recover your body and mind, let your husband do his fair share and take it easy.

Enjoy your babies but if you need help , you must ask. Please do not try to be a martyr and please do not ever feel guilty asking for help and support.

Enjoy your babies and take your time adapting to now being a family of four.

Good luck xx 💕

SunRainStorm · 20/07/2023 07:21

You should be in bed, not dealing with a toddler.

I stayed in hospital for four days following each of my planned c-sections. It's insane how the NHS send you home with paracetamol within a day.

You need to be resting, and having people hand you the baby for feeding.

Let DH get exhausted- you're recovering from major surgery and feeding a baby- he isn't. He needs to do the majority of everything else

Totalwasteofpaper · 20/07/2023 07:31

Totally agree with @Mojitosaremyfavourite

YoU must rest or long term you'll bevin trouble.
Its a really short period of time ( like 2 weeks)

honestly let your husband be tired If he isnt exhausted and napping when toddler and baby are he isnt doing enough.
should be doing 90 -100 % of everything for at least 2 weeks.
Buy in ready meals online ignore all cleaning and rest.

Rest was the one thing my midwives were very hot on. They were furious when i asked about going for a walk on day 10 and i was told to go sit in the garden if i wanted air - they were right!

LouLou198 · 20/07/2023 07:34

I have had 2 emergency sections, second time is tough when you have another dc to look after. I remember the pain being like nothing I have experienced before, even getting out of bed was so painful. I seem to remember the pain seemed to get better after a week.

LouLou198 · 20/07/2023 07:35

Oh and also let dh be tired! You have had major surgery.

MariaVT65 · 20/07/2023 07:36

What painkillers are you on OP?

I personally found that paracetamol and ibuprofen was useless and I needed the dihydracodeine. If they didn’t give you any, call the maternity ward now and ask for some. You’ve had major surgery and should be offered proper pain relief.

Maybebaby12345 · 20/07/2023 07:59

I have 4 children and my 4th was an emergency c section, during the lockdown, with a toddler and home schooling 2 older children. My biggest struggle was that I wanted to get up and do things and my husband kept telling me to rest. I spoke to the midwife when she came to visit and she said let the house go to ruin. Let the kids eat cereal for breakfast lunch and dinner. Let your husband make a mess of the washing. Let the dishes pile up. If you need to get up, go for a little walk, up and down the street, don't clean or tidy. So that's what I did, I rested and went for little walks here and there and by 3 weeks post partum I was able to start getting back to light cleaning and cooking. My other children didn't die, the house didn't fall apart and I got the rest I really needed to heal. It's so important to take the time to heal, and my husband also kept on top of my pain relief which really helped me a lot. I think my toddler at the time might not have even had a bath until week 3, and shes a happy and clean 5 year old now with no lasting effects

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