Page 2 | Traumatic birth for baby and I

DreamOn86 · 2023-06-24T23:06:13+00:00

Hi all. I wonder if anyone had went through the same experience. 4 months ago, i was being induced and after 2 days the labor started and within an hour i gabe birth. baby was oxygen compromised .. her cord gases were borderline ( not very clear because they couldn’t determine if its for sure coming from the artery) And all that because the midwife caring for me didnt think it was urgent to take me herself to the delivery suite. She kept me in the antenatal ward , waiting for someone to come and take me while i was screaming and begging for help:. Apparently that’s not urgent enough. it hurts just talking about it. 4 months later, im mentally consumed and still not able to get over what happened. Im scared everyday that she s going to be unwell or have a seizure. I cry everyday many times. the doctors think she s going to be fine but for some reason i don’t trust that. She was born and scored 8 at 1 min for Apgar score. Then 9 at 5 min. im still following up with the hospital trying to know more about these cord gases but im so depressed and cannot keep positive. 3 years ago we had a late pregnancy termination because of malformation and to see this happening now.. its making me so ill. i did everything right in my pregnancy. Did all things by the book and more! anyone here went through a similar experience? And how did u manage?

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jojo2202 · 25/06/2023 13:09

Lol my whole labour with my 3rd was 40 minutes from first contraction to birth. This happens alll the time to women and babies come quick and fast. my baby had meconium in waters, decelerations and was blue but apgar score like yours was fine. Just remember that cord gases are not usually diagnostic so why you think they "are borderline for seizures" is a little confusing.

If the baby has had no issues in last 4 weeks i think you are kind of making this a bigger problem than it is and i don't think hospital are at fault. I think however that you are very depressed and obsessing over this. You need to see someone for some support

Original poster

DreamOn86 · 25/06/2023 13:35

her Apgar was 8 and with regards of what i wanted, i wished she just listened to me. I know that there were other midwifes on the ward that day. And that there was more than 1 free bed in the delivery suite and yet they couldnt take the decision to speed things up.. I eneded up for 35-40 min waiting for someone and when we got to the delivery suite, baby was very distressed according to the consultant.
in my opinion, guidelines are put in place to help people but when there is an emergency, people should do what they think is right rather than sticking to the guidelines and potentially take chances to put the baby in danger because that is a possibility and you know it can happen. So when there is other midwifes on the ward, more than 1 bed available in delivery suite, why not taking me? I wasnt in a position to decide for myself to be examined or not… but the healthcare professional needs to act upon it and not take chances. Dont think that i dnt blame myself for this, but if it wasn’t badly managed we wouldn’t have gotten here.
just think about it, a few more minutes would have been detrimental… is it fair then to say to me its my fault? Im torturing myself with the self blame, but they are also to blame. A woman clealy in advAnce labor shouldn’t be left that long bcz the risks that comes with it are very big compared to following guidelines. Im sorry u r a midwife and seeing this as complete non sense. But some things needs to be changed. Otherwise we will keep hearing a lot of sad stories
i wish i can know that the results would have been the same anyway as i said because i ll be relieved from the blame i carry.. but i dont think it would!!

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jojo2202 · 25/06/2023 13:47

DreamOn86 · 25/06/2023 13:35

her Apgar was 8 and with regards of what i wanted, i wished she just listened to me. I know that there were other midwifes on the ward that day. And that there was more than 1 free bed in the delivery suite and yet they couldnt take the decision to speed things up.. I eneded up for 35-40 min waiting for someone and when we got to the delivery suite, baby was very distressed according to the consultant.
in my opinion, guidelines are put in place to help people but when there is an emergency, people should do what they think is right rather than sticking to the guidelines and potentially take chances to put the baby in danger because that is a possibility and you know it can happen. So when there is other midwifes on the ward, more than 1 bed available in delivery suite, why not taking me? I wasnt in a position to decide for myself to be examined or not… but the healthcare professional needs to act upon it and not take chances. Dont think that i dnt blame myself for this, but if it wasn’t badly managed we wouldn’t have gotten here.
just think about it, a few more minutes would have been detrimental… is it fair then to say to me its my fault? Im torturing myself with the self blame, but they are also to blame. A woman clealy in advAnce labor shouldn’t be left that long bcz the risks that comes with it are very big compared to following guidelines. Im sorry u r a midwife and seeing this as complete non sense. But some things needs to be changed. Otherwise we will keep hearing a lot of sad stories
i wish i can know that the results would have been the same anyway as i said because i ll be relieved from the blame i carry.. but i dont think it would!!

but nothing happened. You baby was born normal!

Brightandshining · 25/06/2023 13:55

What happened to you is utterly horrific and you've every right to feel as you do.
I just wanted to add about your baby though that there's every reason to believe she will be totally fine as those are high scores and millions of babies are born with the umbilical cord wrapped round their necks and go on to be completely healthy children. I was in labour in the hospital with my son for nearly 3 days and he got stuck in the birth canal with his oxygen stats falling and they almost had to do an emergency section... he is now 8 and completely healthy NT child whose never had any problems due to the low oxygen at birth whatsoever. If the doctors told you your baby is going to be fine try not to worry because they are probably right..
Sending you ❤️ I know what it's like to have a traumatic birth and I hope you'll come through the anxiety caused by it

Original poster

DreamOn86 · 25/06/2023 14:44

jojo2202 · 25/06/2023 13:09

Lol my whole labour with my 3rd was 40 minutes from first contraction to birth. This happens alll the time to women and babies come quick and fast. my baby had meconium in waters, decelerations and was blue but apgar score like yours was fine. Just remember that cord gases are not usually diagnostic so why you think they "are borderline for seizures" is a little confusing.

If the baby has had no issues in last 4 weeks i think you are kind of making this a bigger problem than it is and i don't think hospital are at fault. I think however that you are very depressed and obsessing over this. You need to see someone for some support

The doctors are the one who made me aware that what happened to me is extremely rare. I didnt. And thats one of their excuses actually!!

cord gases also same thing never heard if it before.. consultant in NICU said APGAR important but its the cord gases that gives us if there will be any long term consequences ..
as for anxiety and delayed, yes i do have this beautiful combo thanks to what happened!!

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Original poster

DreamOn86 · 25/06/2023 16:41

Brightandshining · 25/06/2023 13:55

What happened to you is utterly horrific and you've every right to feel as you do.
I just wanted to add about your baby though that there's every reason to believe she will be totally fine as those are high scores and millions of babies are born with the umbilical cord wrapped round their necks and go on to be completely healthy children. I was in labour in the hospital with my son for nearly 3 days and he got stuck in the birth canal with his oxygen stats falling and they almost had to do an emergency section... he is now 8 and completely healthy NT child whose never had any problems due to the low oxygen at birth whatsoever. If the doctors told you your baby is going to be fine try not to worry because they are probably right..
Sending you ❤️ I know what it's like to have a traumatic birth and I hope you'll come through the anxiety caused by it

Thank you for your kind words and its always reassuring to hear this from someone who s been through a similar experience and to know that their child has been alright. I really hope its my case also. I cannot imagine any other scenario x

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