Postnatal anxiety re: heat / SIDS

[ElaineMarie87]

Hi all. I’m 10 days PP with my first baby. For context I have suffered from anxiety since I was a teenager (now 35, self-managed with CBT/mindfulness) so I knew going into pregnancy that this might happen. I was happy, but very tired of course, for the first 5 days after baby was born, then the baby blues dropped and now I find myself obsessing about my baby’s temperature and SIDS. We live in a new build property, which is designed to stay warm, and without air conditioning it’s literally impossible to achieve the recommended 16-20 degree temperature in any room in the house. Overheating is a SIDS risk and some days/nights I can’t stop the spiralling thoughts about the room being too warm, have I dressed him too heavily, constantly checking the skin on his chest and back of his neck, checking that he’s still breathing, etc. I’ve read around the subject of baby dressing in hot weather until I want to puke, and I suspect the lack of sleep is interfering with my ability to do the mindfulness that previously saw me through anxiety attacks.

I have spoken to the health visitor about this and she has assured me that this particular obsession is extremely common, especially in first time parents. My partner has also been incredibly supportive, letting me vent and cry on him when I get really worked up, giving me second opinions on baby’s temperature, etc. I have another midwife visit tomorrow and am planning to speak to her as well. We just bought a small portable air con unit for our bedroom, which is coming tomorrow, so I’m hoping this will help alleviate some of my anxiety.

I guess I’m hoping that I’m not the only one worried about this, especially since the past few years we’ve had some cracking heat waves; no doubt this year will be the same. Would be nice to know I’m not alone in worrying about this!

I was exactly like this when I had my first, many moons ago. I have family history of health anxiety and anxiety in general so was able to recognise the signs and ‘check myself’. mostly, by reminding myself that I did not want to raise my child in the same fog of anxiety that I had been raised in.

In a subsequent pregnancy feelings of anxiety came back and became harder to manage. I got referred to perinatal mental health team and I got some sessions with them that really helped me.

So, my suggestion. It may be a common obsession. However, you know that you tend to anxiety. Push for a referral to the perinatal mental health team at your hospital.

I had post natal anxiety too but DS was born in the winter and I could heat my house to 16 degrees.

You feel powerless. This is way beyond your control so you do anything you can to be in (somewhat) control. Checking his temp, watching him, panicking, spiralling...

As horrible and not helpful as this is, this feeling will pass. All you can do is your very best. Read about all the ways you can cool them down, take measures wherever you can, but also please communicate to your husband, family, health visitor etc.

It took me years to realise what I was going through, literally DS was 3 when I finally spoke up.

Remember that babies are born in hotter countries than this one, and ones without Aircon.

I think you need to seek support from the postnatal mental healthy team. Most of the worlds babies live in far hotter climates than the UK.

Both of my kids were born in a heatwave. With the first I dressed her so lightly that it took me a good fortnight to realise that when she was crying non stop every night around 2am and I couldn't get her back to sleep it was because she was freezing her tiny arse off

Totally normal to worry about this, I think. And if you'd had him in the winter you'd be worried he was too cold or you'd dressed him too heavily.

Use your mindfulness techniques, talk to sensible people around you and maybe buy a sleeping sensor thing- those were my methods. Good luck, that level of anxiety is horrible.

Thanks all, I think I will ask my midwife tomorrow about a referral to the perinatal MH team. I have previously found talking therapy quite helpful, and I know I need to nip this in the bud to give myself and my baby the best experience I can. I don’t want my memories of his early months to be clouded by my anxiety.

How are you getting on now @ElaineMarie87?

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto actually feeling better despite this heat, thank you! Got a referral to the perinatal MH team at my local hospital, so looking forward to that and having a space to talk. Trying to resist the urge to check my baby’s temperature every 10 minutes 😅 We ordered an air con unit for our bedroom but the window hose is too short, typical, so we haven’t used it yet 🫠

As others have said plenty of babies are born in hotter countries than the UK, so I’m trying to retain some perspective. And my partner has been really supportive - every night we come up with a plan for what to dress baby in and how to remove/add layers with temp changes in our bedroom. Having a plan has helped me to feel a bit more in control of the situation.

The weather next week looks to be loads better so just need to get through this weekend without panicking!

All of that sounds much better and I'm glad that you got a referral.

If you need to talk to someone before the referral comes through, the PANDAS Foundation is pretty good, and there's always us in MN of course

Thank you xx