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Postnatal health

As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

Flip

Original poster

Help needed

2 replies

tayyaba123 · 09/06/2023 19:46

Hi everyone

So some background: I suffered post natal depression due to family over imposing with my babies and leaving me out and I ended up feeling out of touch being a FTM.

Since my daughter I just never got any better. Everyday is a battle between me feeling my kids don’t love me and favouring everyone else. I do absolutely everything for both of them and never leave them alone unless I’m going to the bathroom then my in laws will look after them but I do every feed, nappy change, bath, you name it I do it. My daughter seems to come to me when she needs something almost not excited to see me but when my husband comes she’s flying of the walls. She’s so happy and then refuses to come to me for the first time yesterday she didn’t come to me when she was upset which is not like her. My husband takes her outside which she loves and that’s about it. He helps me around the house more than the kids as I prefer to do things with the kids.
She’s also 15 months and my baby is 3 months

Is it possible she doesn’t love me or loves her dad more. I’m always told that babies love their mum naturally as she’s carried them but seems a myth to me.

Any words of support or wisdom would be appreciated

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

RightWhereYouLeftMe · 09/06/2023 19:51

She loves you. Children go through phases of wanting mummy and then daddy.
Plus it sounds like you're always there, you're her constant, and her dad is out working during the day? If you were to go out for the day, she'd light up when you came home.

Hazelnuttella · 09/06/2023 19:51

It’s normal for babies to seem more excited about their dad or other people compared to their mum.

If you’re the primary caregiver (which it seems you are) then they are so well bonded to you that they know you will always be there. They see you as part of themselves almost because they are so confident that you are always there.

So it can seem that they are more excited to see other people. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you - it’s the exact opposite - it means your bond is super strong.

Have you had help for your postnatal depression? It’s worth seeing your GP.

Flip