Life after third degree (3b) tear - positive stories please!

[Switz2]

Hi mums,
I had my DC 3 weeks ago. Birth went great with no intervention though unfortunately due to their size I suffered a 3b tear. At first I didn’t really know what this was, but I realise now recovery could take a while, and I’m questioning whether I should have had the offered c section 😔
I am a very active person, love running, cycling and going to the gym weight training. I’ve been reading some horror stories and need some positive reassurance. 3 weeks down and I feel good. I have been told to wait 6 weeks before any PF exercises, at which time I have weekly sessions planned with a women’s health physio. Not struggled with inconstinace and other than being a bit achy I’m doing pretty well, though I spend most my day resting. I was really hoping you could answer a few questions playing on my mind:

1. I feel very ‘vulnerable’ down there if I walk for too longer, say 30 minutes. Like there’s no support - will this get back to normal?
2. my cervix is definitely lower than pre-baby. I’m hoping this is normal giving that I had a 10lb baby it’s not just going to spring back. did you notice a lower cervix and will it go back up with pelvic floor exercises?
3. Im in no rush, but I love exercise, if for nothing else but my mental health, and can’t imagine never running or squatting again - how long did it take you to get back to exercise?
4. Is my sex life doomed forever or does it get back in track? again I’m in no rush, but need to have a light at the end of the tunnel

thank you so much for any advice and putting my mind at ease!

Same situation here, was 17yrs ago so I can’t really remember the specifics but yes it does take a while to feel less vulnerable. Take notice of whats going on and keep in touch with your GP. When you’re a bit more healed it would be worth seeing a physio- wish I had done this at the time. Take care of you, your body has been through a lot!

I had it twice. Somehow after DC 1 it didnt heal properly. It hurt a long time and even months after it was uncomfortable to sit and painful during sex and on the toilet. I went to the doctors often and they all told me the scar looks like its healed nicely and theres nothing wrong with it and thats just how it is now.
I got pregnant again quickly and it all ripped right open again during that birth. Baby was only 6 pounds, but that didnt help.
This time around it healed a lot quicker and better. Within 6 months i couldnt feel it at all anymore.
Its obviously not the same as before, but i can exercise just like before and dont have any restrictions. I do make sure that i go to the bathroom regularly. I can feel it for example if my bladder is full and i jump on the trampoline with the kids. Feels like im peeing myself 🙈 but ive never actually peed myself, its just a weird feeling and a bit uncomfortable like i really need to go and cant hold it any second.
Other than that all is well!

30 mins walk 3 weeks pp is a lot! In some European countries, they advocate 3 weeks in bed then 3 weeks on the couch for the sake of mums pelvic floor. Give it time. I also plan to seek pelvic physio afterwards, especially as I'm a runner too. Also, my understanding is that research says 6 months until go back to running, rather than the 6 weeks the NHS often mentions to get back to activity. Hope all heals up well x

7 years ago I had a 3b, was distraught as never thought I'd be normal again. It did take a while to feel normal, probably a good 9-12 months but physio did help. I do still struggle with a weak pelvic floor at times eg if I've got a cough or lifting heavy weights but tbh I'm rubbish at remembering to do my pelvic floor exercises. I fell pregnant again just over 2 years later and opted for csection which was the best decision! Give your body time to heal and don't rush having sex or exercising.

Thank you all so much for your messages! I had a c section with my first as DD was breech and always wanted to try a natural birth, and tbh now I have I realised how fantastic a planned c section is 😅
good to know it’s possible to get back exercising like before again, happy to give it as much time as it needs, as long as I know I will get there eventually. Tbh I never realised how much pregnancy alone impacted the pelvic floor, let alone the birth, so if anything it’s made me motivated to incorporate PF exercises on the regular when I finally get back to feeling more myself

Hi op how are you now?

Hi @Mumofonexo its been 16 months and I am absolutely fine now! Thanks for asking 😊 it took about a year I would say to completely feel myself, but now I’m back doing everything I was before and have no long lasting effects. I get a bit more pain around my periods, and a heavier flow! But this isn’t really a problem at all! DS is 16 months and is maxing out 2-3 year clothes, so reterospecivtely I think I came off lightly 😅
now if I was to ever have a third the decision is which way to go 😕