Can't do it no more!!

[whendoesitgetessier]

I am at breaking point and need some support..,suffering with serve depression no support at all. My partner is a selfish arsehole that doesn't do night feeding at all if I ask he pretty much goes mental at me how iam the mother and should be doing it and how he works all day blah blah but then he expects me to have a loving relationship with me when I am pretty much living off 2 hours sleep a night as our little one is teething so bad that the sleep is nonexistent.. little one won't settle at night at all atm won't sleep in the cot and cannot co sleep with the fear of rolling onto little one. I just do not no what to do anymore I just feel like things are getting worse and worse.. the teething has been going on for months now and nothing. Little one is a high needs baby always has been. I am literally loosing all my sanity. I don't go out no more because the effort of getting dressed when I am so sleep deprived is too much. I literally had 2 hours sleep last night and I honestly cannot face today.

Anyone else in the same boat.

ive been there. much sympathy. Is there anyone else you could ask to have the baby a few hours during the day while you sleep or even just come and keep you company?

If not just plan to do nothing at all, maybe just a breath of fresh air today if you can face going outside with the baby (it will do you both good)

dont attempt to do anything useful - just exist, rest whenever possible. Baby could just lie on a blanket on the floor wit some toys and you can lie down and snooze! I’ve done this in the past. It’s a very tough time but one day you’ll look back and realise yo got through it.

remember it though, in case you ever think it’s a good idea to have a second baby!

@PotKettel this is not my first child with my others it was pretty much plain sailing I didn't have quite a high needs baby so this is a complete shock to me my others slept really well did not teeth for months like this were happy with playing with their toys but this one literally wants all my energy if I go and put a wash on or do the washing up etc little one goes mental and starts screaming where as when my others were little I could pop them in those activity chairs and they would be happy for ages.. to be fair my partner was much more supportive back then hence no issue with having this one but he does not support me at all he basically says because I wanted another one I have to deal with it all. He will moan that I have done nothing if the kitchen etc are a little untidy and his attitude is well if my mum can do it so can you. I was suppose to be going out today but my head is banging so much my eyes are so sore. I am just so scared that the sleep deprivation make me want to do something stupid. I feel like iam damaging my own child's health as iam flat out exhausted and just ratty with everyone. I feel like an awful mum I am completely guilt ridden everyday!

Book an emergency doctors appointment. It’s not healthy to be at the state of not leaving the house, being so exhausted and worrying you’ll do something stupid.

also call the health visitor and tell them exactly what’s happening.

id your husbands mum is so wonderful at keeping house perhaps you suggest she comes round to help!

I would Lao tell him he’ll be finding out what it’s like to have all the kids and no sleep soon enough when you leave him and he has to look after the kids by himself

@Temporaryname158 thanks hun I have already done that waiting on gp to call me back. Hoping they will just increase the dosage and I can start to feel much better. Next week I will be back to my routine of school runs and stuff so will feel better the holidays are always a little shitty.

Went to the gp they upped my meds they were way too low and will review them in a week they even checked little one over to check for an ear infection but all clear they also checked them gums and they're bulging so told me to continue with the pain relief for it. I had a massive cry down the phone to my mum I think I needed it and feeling a little better she is amazing and helps so much I feel so guilty when I break down but as she says I am her daughter and she knows how the other half can be a shit bag.. I spoke about my concerns to my gp and she was fantastic she will be calling me daily to see how I am and has offered to get me seen by a councillor. She said I have been through so much in the last so many months with little ones health (multiple allergies which took weeks to get a diagnosis for) that it's all built up and I have just exploded. I no I will get there it will take time but I am on the right track now. Other half has agreed to actually support me so he is going to do 2 night sessions a week probably weekends if needed so I can get my full 8 hours asleep xx

He goes mental at you. You do know this is not someone who loves you don't you? He finds you tolerable when you do the work, shut up and shag. Other than that he finds you an irritant.
Please for your sake and your dc, chuck him.

My heart aches as I know your pain so much! I'm glad you are managing to get help. Babies are soo tough and you never know what you are going to get.

I'm glad your other half is stepping up as its his child too! And it's a crazy journey to do it all on your own.

@whendoesitgetessier
I literally could have written this myself! All of it. The selfish other half and all! My 10 months old never sleeps at night. I'm in day 3 and between 6pm-6am he sleeps 2 hours at most. It's hell. I'm soooo depressed but absolutely no help out there! It's ridiculous how crap I feel. It's been an hour and a half tonight trying to get the baby to bed and no luck. I'm miserable but no one cares!

@poppy8989 it's so hard isn't it I am feeling loads better now I am on medication I am just awaiting my first counselling app in the coming weeks.. suppose to be due back to work in a matter of weeks but I am hand on heart not ready at all so using my holidays and then the doctor has agreed it's best I be signed off for a long period of time which I am relieved about I couldn't face trying to sort my mental health out aswell as juggling shifts again if things aren't better after that's up I will be leaving a place I do love I have changed as a person I feel very low and empty I am so snappy too., I haven't really bonded with my now 9 month old at all I find that little one prefers daddy to me I love my duckling with all my heart but find that no matter what I do he gets all the smiles and laughing I get nothing I feel completely invisible 😢 I hate myself so so much because of it little one is my rainbow after 2 failed back to back pregnancies so was such a blessing when I found out little one was going to ok I bonded loads during pregnancy then bam it all changed when duckling was 3 weeks old the allergies the screaming for hours and hours me being so sleep deprived that I would be quick tempered maybe I messed up and little one sensed it all now associates me with being this horrible thing in her life.. maybe it's still hormones I dreamed that this time round things would be completely perfect but let's face it nothing is.. duckling is going to be 1 soon and I feel like I have lost out on the most magical part of her life.. I have huge regrets about the way I handled stuff I wish I had sneaked help earlier and gave less of a crap if the dishes and washing wasn't done I wish i hadn't become so reclusive. I promised myself this time would be different from my others but it ended up a little the same. Always here to chat lovely xx