Having the worst post partum time ever

[iloveburmese3]

I must begin by saying the most important thing here is that my new born baby and myself are well, happy and healing perfectly. I had a little boy last Wednesday via C section and it couldn't have gone better. I've been blessed with a super easy section, great recovery and a beautiful son who is thriving.

However... my mother is staying with us another weekend (I live abroad and she's come from London) and is being negative about everything; from the maternity nurse she hates, to the state of the house (read the next bit) to how much work she's doing (totally unnecessary as we have help to do that)

Today we've had devastating news that our apartment has a mega plumbing problem and we need to move out this weekend for 2 weeks so they can tear up the floors in all the hall ways. The timing of life!!

I really wanted a peaceful, zen like post partum and instead it's been stressful, unpleasant and full of complaining (my mother literally sits on the end of my bed and rants to me, all day). I want to be using this time to be as good to myself as I can. Healing foods, warm clothes, kindness around me so I can heal gently and instead it's an utter shit show.

Am I being pathetic and need to get a grip that it's real life and a perfect post partum experience is not always possible? I'd prepared for it with lots of help and a clean pretty home but my mother has cluttered it with her things and her negative anxious nature. I want her to leave but I can't really ask her to...

Help!

Tell your mother to leave. Say it’s not working having her there, and she needs to find somewhere else to stay. You don’t get this time back. Don’t let her ruin it. And don’t let her pull any “cultural” shit on you either, if she feels it’s traditional for her to be there and constantly voicing her opinions.

Congratulations on your baby

Tell your mother to leave!

Maybe the plumbing is a blessing in disguise. Suggest your Mum goes home and comes back when it's all sorted out... staying in a rental or hotel with her will surely be even worse?

Yeah - it's ruining the experience for me it really is. She's so sensitive and will make me feel so bad for leaving. I reallt hate her at the moment 🥺 I said it

Shouldn't mum's be great and supportive plus I don't like anxious energy during this very important time

Agree with previous poster - use the plumbing the excuse.
"I'm sorry mum but with all this going on there just isn't the space for you right now. Let's reconvene when things are easier".
And choose a hotel room or one bed flat on Airbnb to move into for the period or the work. Nowhere that she can claim can be practical for her to stay.

Yup good one. Ugh why I feel so stressed when ok life throws stuff at you but actually everything going so well with baby and my healing that this shouldn't be happening

Oh and she always walks into my room without knocking and not cool if im feeding / pumping..

Sorry that you're not having the experience you'd planned. Not all Mums are supportive and it's perfectly normal to feel let down by her.

If you haven't already, I'd ask her to leave.

Get your mother gone!!

She left last Friday and wow the relief. I've got mastitis now though 😩😩😩

i had to be very firm with my mum and kept her away during the birth /postpartum and even pregnancy tbh. So many people talk about mums offering help and support but mine sadly doesn't. It was the best decision to simplify my life at that time and just prioritise the needs of me and my babies. Sorry to hear about the mastitis. You will find that things like this crop up to challenge you 😔💐