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Postnatal health

As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

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Original poster

When will I feel better? Is it too soon?

19 replies

FebMama · 13/02/2023 18:01

2 weeks post partum today. Still very much recovering from my c section. Have a 3 yo DS as well as the little one. I had a c section the first time too but don't remember feeling this down in the dumps two weeks later. I'm sure it passed by now the first time.

Physically, I'm still not 100% mobile. And this is mentally draining me. I cry daily because I just feel so overwhelmed. I feel like I could handle both kids (within reason) if I physically felt well and could move around. I can only move around at a snails pace still.

My scar is healing well, no issues there.

How long does the baby blues last? I don't want to keep venting and letting this all out to DH because he's trying so hard to comfort me and help out. I feel like I'm just doing his head in at this point.

Do I need to be worried? Should the baby blues have passed by now or at least eased off?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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iloveburmese3 · 13/02/2023 18:13

Honestly don't worry. You'll start to feel better soon and don't stress it. They say 2-3 weeks and I reckon harder second time especially with a toddler at home. I'm having a C section in 7 weeks with my second and I'm going to book some acupuncture at home after the first week like I did first time round- really helps release the emotions and gets your body on an even keel. Try to get some vitamin d even sitting by the window and eat healthy. I really believe what your eating can effect your mood. Try to look outside the box in a way and understand this time will pass and you'll get through it. And sleep! Try to get a nurse to come in 2/3 nights just for a week or two will be a godsend. Good luck and here if you want to chat! X

Maggi44 · 13/02/2023 20:58

I'm currently nearly 7 weeks pregnant and my hormones are rampant....does anyone know how to deal with this or if there is anything I can take? Much help appreciated 🙏

mapleandpecan · 13/02/2023 21:17

I've had two emergency c sections and 2 under 2 so I totally understand what you're going through.

You'll feel a tonne better once you're able to move. You'll be able to go for walks, get fresh air, do light exercise, all the things that are good for your mental health.

For now, fuck the housework, let your 3 year old have extra screen time if you need peace and quiet and take advantage of food delivery services!

If you have any support from family and friends ask them to help out with your toddler, so you can soak in the newborn cuddles.

Congratulations, it does get better

PretzelBite · 14/02/2023 19:09

I had baby blues for around 6 weeks. Hopefully it won’t last as long for you but they can definitely hang around longer than 2. Hope you’re ok - my dd is 4 months and I can still vividly remember the haze of sadness that seemed to last forever. It’s shit. Take care of yourself.

Original poster

FebMama · 15/02/2023 08:41

Thank you all.

Baby blues hit an all time high this week after my c section scar opened up on one side and started oozing with fluid. I'm back in hospital on IV antibiotics. Express

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Original poster

FebMama · 15/02/2023 08:42

Expressing milk for baby as much as I can (he's with me). And longing for the day I can get back home. I miss my toddler so so much it hurts.

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Sucessinthenewyear · 15/02/2023 08:44

Congratulations. You need to start your own thread.

Sucessinthenewyear · 15/02/2023 08:44

Congratulations. You need to start your own thread.

Sorry that was originally quoting @Maggi44

Sucessinthenewyear · 15/02/2023 08:46

C section is the only time you have major surgery, are sleep deprived and just expected to get on with it. It’s takes a 6 weeks to be fully mobile and 6 months for full recovery.

mapleandpecan · 15/02/2023 09:39

I get it @FebMama it's awful being away from your children.

DD2 was admitted when she was 2 weeks old and I was in for about a week with her. It was a childrens ward, so they had a little play room for the kids. DH would bring DD1 and I would get to see her in there whilst he watched over DD2.

Is there anything like that in your hospital? Would you be allowed outside? Could DH bring your toddler, watch your baby whilst you spent some 1:1 time with your toddler?

Original poster

FebMama · 15/02/2023 11:19

@mapleandpecan it's so tough. Sadly, my husband is back at work this week. He travels a lot for work and he's not local during the day. DS1 is mainly being looked after by in laws when he's not at nursery. Both MIL and FIL are taking turns when they're not working!

I'm back on the post natal ward and DS2 is with me. My mum is staying with me to help for most of the time. I know I'm very lucky to have a lot of support from parents and I would love for DS1 to come in and see us but with in laws both working full time it's a lot for them to come in during the visiting hours of 7-8pm when DS1 will be getting ready for bed.
Really hoping I'll be back home on Friday and I can give my big boy a hug and kiss. Tears are rolling down my face just writing this. But I know I need to stay physically and mentally strong in order to recover quickly and get back home with both of my boys and DH.

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mapleandpecan · 15/02/2023 13:03

Wishing you a swift recovery for both your mental and physical health ❤️

Original poster

FebMama · 15/02/2023 22:01

@mapleandpecan thank you ❤️

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edel2 · 15/02/2023 22:15

Lovely mama, you are going through such a tough time right now. Feel all the feels. It's completely understandable. Soon, this will be something you'll look back on and think, fair play to me for getting through that, that was pretty damn tough.

I've my 3 week old beside me, and yesterday my mental health was BAD, and I haven't got an infection like you! It was because of the sleep deprivation.

Your older son honestly sounds like he's having a whale of a time being with his friends in nursery and then grandma and grandpa! He's being so well looked after - so you make sure you look after YOU ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Original poster

FebMama · 15/02/2023 23:55

@edel2 your post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for your kindness ❤️❤️❤️

Congratulations on your baby I really hope you and baby are doing well. I think it's so important for us new mums to acknowledge those moments when our mental health isn't great. And you're right, we'll both look back on these early days and pat ourselves on the back for getting through it! Thank you again. Your post means more than you probably realise.

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Lavender14 · 16/02/2023 00:09

I had a section a few months ago, it took me 4 weeks to feel physically better and more myself moving around and then I did slightly too much and got an infection, that took a while to go which i found really disheartening because id only just started feeling better. I also found that how I felt physically really impacted how I felt mentally- when I felt sore and exhausted id start to feel a bit ... fragile? And i think it brought it home that my body had just been through something huge. So I think what you're going through sounds completely normal especially with the wound opening. Honestly rest as much as you possibly can, take it as an excuse to call in all the help and favours you can when you get home so you can get your feet up and cuddle with baby. This is not the time to try and push yourself, you've just had major surgery.

Id also say that that's how I felt with a planned section, if yours was unplanned etc it makes sense you'd have lots of emotion around that too even if the outcome was good overall so you can request a debrief with a midwife to help process things if you feel that might help.

It sounds like you're doing an amazing job and are a fantastic mummy. Two very lucky little people there so just look after you and remember you need to fill your own cup first.

Original poster

FebMama · 16/02/2023 06:54

@Lavender14 thank you for this. Strangely similar. I know I wasn't feeling great but I thought my scar was doing just fine. In fact it was, it's healed great everywhere bar one stitch that came away. So it's really disheartening.

I guess one positive of being back in hospital is that I've had no choice but to rest and I haven't naturally done things after my toddler like I would have if I was at home.

Thank you ❤️

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Wasywasydoodah · 16/02/2023 07:10

Awwww, that’s really tough. Be kind to yourself. I remember the baby blues being far worse second time round and 2 weeks being a real low point. So of course it’s hard. I coped by just taking each hour or day as it came, trying to focus on the stuff i had managed rather than all the things i hadn’t and celebrated the little wins. Stupid stuff like expressing some milk, or doing a post-birth poo, eating a meal. It’s at times like these where you have to have realistic expectations of yourself!

Lavender14 · 16/02/2023 08:54

Wasywasydoodah · 16/02/2023 07:10

This is really good advice, I actually started a list in my phone of any little 'win' in the day whether it was big or small and it helped reassure me i was doing OK seeing the list grow. And even when I couldn't think of anything to put down if everyone was alive at the end of the day who was alive at the start of the day then I did OK. It helped me manage my expectations of myself.

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