Postnatal anxiety and catastrophising

[PointyMcguire]

I could really do with some help, as I don’t think how I’m feeling is normal, but equally don’t know how to shut out the intrusive thoughts/keep from spiralling.

I gave birth to my beautiful DD 10 days ago, and since have been plagued with the fear that something might happen to her. I’ve never felt love like this, it was so instantaneous, but it’s made me so scared to lose her. We had a miscarriage prior to falling pregnant with her, of which the first anniversary is tomorrow, so I’m in no doubt this is also contributing to my panic and fear.

Can anyone offer any advice on how to overcome this? I’m planning to speak to my midwife tomorrow to put some kind of plan in place, but I’m conscious that I need to find ways of stopping myself from spiralling in the first place. Any help would be so greatly appreciated as I’m spending most days in tears worrying about things that haven’t happened and it’s really ruining what should be such a special time for us.

Thanks so much in advance.

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, and I hope it gets better. Congrats on your daughter!

I actually found the thread because I had my DD on 22nd and am suffering mad anxiety and catastrophising myself.

I'm going to discuss it with my health visitor. Hopefully you can reach out to yours too

I hope you're both doing well, as I know I'm late to the thread.

I gave birth via c section on the 5th of dec and I haven't felt emotionally right since then. Definitely a lot of catastrophising and thinking the worst, BUT this is absolutely normal. Your life has been turned on it's head, your freedoms have been taken away and your sleep is next to none. This doesn't mean you don't love your new baby, but isn't it possible to miss your old life and struggle with this new life?! I think so and I refuse to let anyone make me feel bad for it!

So I found myself here too because I can’t stop the intrusive thoughts that something is going to go wrong. My son was born on the 3 Mar 23 and since then I am over analysing everything, waiting for something to go wrong; is his breathing okay, is his position in bed okay, is he too hot, is he too cold, what if he dies in his sleep… I go round and round and round. I’m so in love with my little guy but worried that something bad will happen to take him away. It’s exhausting.

I’m really struggling with this part of my journey, I too feel like it’s ruining what should be a happy and precious time. My husband is being very supportive but I know he’s going through his own period of adjustment and struggles too.

When analysing why I’m feeling the way I am, I believe it started with my sons birth, it was really traumatic and ended with an emergency c-section and a lot of panic. This coupled with a colicky baby who is now also nursing a cold and is extremely congested is really playing on my emotions and wracking up my anxiety.

This is the first time I’ve taken to a mums forum for support. I hope that someone might read this and tell me that things will get better. That I’m not going crazy and that this too will pass!?

I too struggle with this.

Mine is now 10 months and I finally got past using his breathing monitor alarm etc. but after starting nursery and catching literally every ailment going I’m now terrified at every cough, every bit of sick etc

Its exhausting

Hugs to all in the same boat xx

I have a DD 5 and DS 10 months… the one thing I found startling with DD when she was born was just how relentless everything felt; I could no longer ‘switch off’ and was always worried about needing to do something for someone else, feeding, settling, checking she was ok….

@Coleloe it does get better!

After a while you settle into a pattern and new normal! It is still relentless but you just become accustomed to it and also more confident in yourself and in the fact that your child is more resilient than you initially realised.

the one thing that I still struggle with, though, is huge anxiety when they are poorly! As soon as I hear a sniffle or there is a fever, my heartbeat sky rockets. I believe this worry is also normal… and never goes away.

when I was little I always remember my dad getting upset when I was poorly … so just shows it’s not something new either.

just remember to enjoy the good things when they are here and when you go through something difficult, like a cold or a patch of sleeplessness, it will pass; everything with a child is just a phase.

Oh gosh this brings back memories. Sending hugs to you all. DD is now 3 months old, which still kinda blows my mind. I have good days and bad days with the anxiety, but it’s not crushingly overwhelming like it once was. I still check she’s breathing at least a couple of times a day, but there’s less of the all out panic/sense of impending doom and I’m getting better at rationalising my fears.

From what I can gather this is a completely normal stage, especially if you’ve had a traumatic birth or previous loss. For me I wanted DD so badly I couldn’t quite believe it when she was finally here and felt like I was just waiting for it to all fall apart. Mine was compounded by severe anaemia following a postpartum bleed which exacerbated my existing anxiety, so it’s worth seeing if you can get a blood test to check there’s not a deficiency at play that’s adding to your feelings. All that said, it honestly does get better xx