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Postnatal health

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Original poster

Feeling so lost with PND.

18 replies

BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 08/01/2023 10:19

I've got three beautiful DC. DS3 is now 12 weeks old. He's utterly perfect, a dream of a baby and I'm so in love with him.

His big brothers adore him and can't do enough for him.

DP is an incredible father and partner. He's absolutely devoted to us all, there's nothing he wouldn't do for us.

I'm so, so lucky. Why does everything feels so hopeless and bleak? Will I come out the other side, eventually? I'm on my second day of sertraline, which so far has made me sick as a dog.

My amazing children are all giggling away right now, but I can't remember how to smile anymore.

Please can someone tell me this gets better?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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BritishDesiGirl · 08/01/2023 10:24

Yes it does get better. You will feel worse before you feel better with the setraline. It can take upto 4 weeks.

Willowkins · 08/01/2023 10:28

Yes. You've done the right thing getting help. Take the Sertraline with plenty of water. Hang on in there.

Original poster
BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 08/01/2023 10:45

Thank you both. I just want to get better!

OP posts:
Original poster
BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 08/01/2023 17:15

Hopeful bump. Just for some reassurance.

OP posts:
smileyplant · 08/01/2023 20:45

Yes it does get better 🙂 I felt the same after my son was born and it felt so blank and bleak but little by little day by day I had more happy days than sad. Hang on in there - you've done the right thing by getting help ☺️ wishing you all the best. Here to chat if you need anything.

Original poster
BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 09/01/2023 08:22

smileyplant · 08/01/2023 20:45

Yes it does get better 🙂 I felt the same after my son was born and it felt so blank and bleak but little by little day by day I had more happy days than sad. Hang on in there - you've done the right thing by getting help ☺️ wishing you all the best. Here to chat if you need anything.

Thank you so much @smileyplant, I might take you up on that offer! DP is doing his very best to support me and listen to me, but I feel so guilty for being a burden. He keeps telling me I'm NOT a burden, but it's just how depression makes you feel, isn't it?

OP posts:
smileyplant · 09/01/2023 11:55

@BeautyGoesToBenidorm absolutely it's completely debilitating. I kept apologising to my husband for being useless and he says he never thought that way and could see I was not myself. You'll get better 🙂 when it's really tough literally take it hour by hour 🙂 x

Original poster
BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 09/01/2023 13:55

smileyplant · 09/01/2023 11:55

@BeautyGoesToBenidorm absolutely it's completely debilitating. I kept apologising to my husband for being useless and he says he never thought that way and could see I was not myself. You'll get better 🙂 when it's really tough literally take it hour by hour 🙂 x

I'm so glad it's not just me. It's such a lonely feeling, isn't it? I put a load of washing on the other day, then burst into tears because the dishwasher needed loading, bottles needed scrubbing/sterilising, and I was exhausted just by chucking the washing on.

Normally I enjoy being busy and buzzing about getting stuff done, but right now it just feels like climbing a mountain x

OP posts:
smileyplant · 09/01/2023 17:14

@BeautyGoesToBenidorm I feels lonely but since I have started to feel better I've been really open with others about PND and I have been so surprised how many people have said they also suffered with it, it's so much more common than we realise.

Having a baby is hard and exhausting without feeling so low yourself so you're definitely not alone there! I loose count of how many times I randomly burst into tears! Others shared what helped them feel better and some of those things helped me! I made a list of things I wanted to do when I felt better, some of them just everyday bits but I felt so accomplished when I could tick something off like go for a coffee with friends. I also tried to get outside for 10 minutes each day either walking or just sitting in our garden and that perked me up a bit.

The small things helped the mountain climbing feeling. My day job involves organising and leading events for thousands of people so I was really cross with myself at the time that couldn't get it together to look after one tiny baby! On reflection I wish I had been kinder to myself so I hope you will be kind to yourself too!!!

Summer2424 · 09/01/2023 17:29

Hi @BeautyGoesToBenidorm it will get better x
I have a 14 week old DD, you will be ok, sending you positive vibes x

chocoholi · 20/01/2023 06:49

@BeautyGoesToBenidorm how are you doing ? X

Original poster
BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 20/01/2023 19:46

Hi @chocoholi, thanks for posting Smile Had an awful day today, as well as still adjusting to the sertraline, I've been put on quetiapine by the perinatal psychiatrist to help me sleep.

Basically, I'm a zombie. I can hardly keep my eyes open. Of course, today would be the day that DS decided to be the most demanding person in the world, wouldn't it?

DP at work for 12hrs again. It's so bastard bloody hard.

OP posts:
Yarnle · 29/12/2023 20:16

Hey OP. Older post but how are you now after some time?
what you have written is exactly how I feel now and I’m 6 weeks post partum and suffering so badly with PND. Lost all interest in anything and have not felt any excitement in such a long time despite having the most gorgeous and well behaved baby ever! I have just re-started my sertraline after horrific side effects made me stop at the beginning of the month! Hope to hear you are coming out the other side and loving life again

Wavingnotdrown1ng · 29/12/2023 20:21

Just to say to both of you, it does get better. Giving birth, especially if you are looking after other children, is exhausting. Stick with the ADs, celebrate small achievements and put one foot in front of the other and you will feel better eventually. I’ve been there and I got better.

smileyplant · 30/12/2023 07:18

@Yarnle Echoing pp I started a thread very similar to this at 6 weeks and felt like the whole world had ended. It took a few weeks for me to start feel better and I felt like myself again by about 6 months. Keep going it will get better 🙂

Yarnle · 30/12/2023 12:31

@smileyplant thank you for your reply. 6 months seems like such a long time away 😭😭 but I can’t go on feeling like I do now my thoughts are scary as hell and all consuming. Can I ask.. did you lose all interest in things and did this come back once the meds started working?
I really fear I will never feel like my old self again!

smileyplant · 30/12/2023 13:57

@Yarnle Yes I couldn't even get out of bed when I had Pnd, didn't want to spent time with my son or do any of my hobbies, anything at all. I got help when he was about 3 weeks I think, by 9 weeks I could function and by 4 months I was able to go on holiday to Devon with family and enjoyed myself for the first time. By 6 months honestly it all felt like a bad dream and I was totally back to myself. Hang in there it really does get better 🙂

Yarnle · 30/12/2023 17:06

@smileyplant i feel like this most the time (wanting to stay in bed) but have to keep going to keep child alive! I have not felt any happiness in so long so I’m glad to hear it can get better thanks so much for sharing. I’m dying for my happiness and motivation back. Praying for the light at the end of the dark tunnel soon

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