Post natal insomnia

[PeachyMama]

Will try not to ramble too much explaining! DS is 16 weeks, used to sleep from 8pm to 6am with one feed around 3am, now wakes up at 1am and 5am for a bottle. Not too bad for his age I know.

My issue is for his whole life I have had issues sleeping, for example a few days ago I put him to bed at 8pm, went up at 10.30 but couldn't sleep until around midnight, then he was up at 2am and takes 45 mins to finish bottle, however I couldn't sleep until around 4.15 and he was awake again at 5.15am for a bottle then wouldn't go to sleep. So due to the fact I can't sleep I only got sleep from midnight until 2 and then 4.15-5.15, total of 3 hours. I've tried everything, I just lay there awake sometimes yawning but I can't switch off and don't feel tired.

Before you suggest to go to her earlier I tried that for about 6 weeks, I would go to bed at 8pm and lay there awake until 11pm. The only thing I've found to help is taking sominex or a bath and a glass of wine (both not long term solutions!) also I don't even feel too tired most of the time somehow but I am extremely irritable and have anxiety, and high blood pressure too so I know my health is being affected. I have such anxiety about sleep I don't even want to go to bed most of the time. It's so frustrating to lay there next to my fast asleep baby for hours. Ironically the only time of night I feel knackered enough that I feel I could sleep is at 5am when he wakes up for the day!

Me laying there not being able to sleep is making me feel insane and honestly some nights I could just scream into a pillow I'm so frustrated

Any thoughts welcome

Bump.... please I need help!! X

I too suffer from insomnia but don't have a baby! I've been there though and it is a living hell.

Have you tried a hypnosis cd to get you off to sleep? I'd recommend Paul Mckenna's one. Currently I just listen to radio 4 on a low volume (quite often overnight)- and that works too for me!

I suffered from this really badly when my dc was a baby. Part of it was the pressure to sleep when they're sleeping - or even when dh had baby I still felt like 'oh shit I have to sleep now it's my only chance' I would get time to sleep and just lie there stressing and crying for hours. The anticipation of them waking up is also a killer, like you know you could sleep but they'll probably be up in an hour...
I had some counselling but honestly just felt like I was surviving until dc was closer to 1, then they started sleeping longer stretches and I was able to as well because I knew that I had more time so less pressure?
DH and I also started doing alternate nights so I knew I was never more than a night away from a better chance, although for this to work you've got to use bottles.
Other things that helped get me through it were remembering that actually I can run on way less sleep than I'd ideally like, also in the night if I'd been tossing and turning for ages I'd get up and read for a bit rather than let the pressure build up. I focused on making sure I was relaxing lots during the day on mat leave - your baby does not need to be out and about all day every day, nor does your house need to be spotless. Self care and vegging out can be almost as restorative as a nap. Conversely, sometimes a walk in the fresh/cold air was the best thing to wake me up and get through the day!
When DC was closer to 1, I also got prescribed promethazine which is like an anti histamine which makes you drowsy. I took it on nights when DH had the baby and it helped me drift off.
I really feel for you as I seem to have lost a lot of dc's early life to the fog of sleep deprivation. If it's any reassurance, I've never been an amazing sleeper but now dc is two and sleeping through like a trooper for almost a year now, I am really well rested and often get 8 hours or more a night. I felt when I was in your shoes that I had ruined my life and it would never end but it did. I really hope things get better for you soon!

Thank you @salemsongbird that's really helpful

I suffered really badly with it too. I think it's quite common. For me, Sertraline was an absolute miracle. It helped me to be so much less anxious and I was able to sleep. Post natal insomnia was definitely a key symptom of post natal depression for me.

Best of luck op. I think the thing to try to remember if you can (and I know this is horribly difficult in the middle of the night) is that this phase will pass. You will sleep again.

@AmongstTheCosmos thank you I did try sertraline but I stopped after a week as it seemed to make the insomnia worse, I think for 2 days I didn't sleep at all and I couldn't cope so I stopped, my mum said I should have persevered as it's likely a side effect that will stop, but not knowing when it will stop I was just so worried I wouldn't sleep atall for like a month or something x

Hi OP, I know where you are because I've been there too. It is pretty much the pits isn't it? You feel like people who can just sleep are so lucky because everything must be so much easier!!

I had PND caused by my insomnia, and basically it was because I was too wired and stressed about trying to sleep when I had the chance too, so when it was time to do just that, I couldn't switch off. What's funny is you think you're the only person in the world who can't sleep but you're not I promise you.

I found mirtazapine an absolute life saver, but my DH did take over for a while so that I literally didn't have to do anything but try to sleep. If you start feeling really low speak to your doctor again. The lowest dose of mirtazapine has the best sedating effects and it helped with my anxiety that was partly causing my stress around sleep.

Also I found my DS slept sp much better as soon as he was bottle fed - I get that's not for everyone though.

Take care of yourself and don't feel guilty about asking for help. Sooo many people do this xxx

@lollyloo88 thank you so much x

@PeachyMama please let me know how you get on xx
I am due baby 2 next year and having suffered this with my first DC I'm worried about it happening again. It was good to read your story but at the same time I'd love to know you pulled through.. take care and hopefully hear from you soon xx

I just want to express my solidarity with you. I had this too for about a month, starting around 3 months post-partum and it was awful. I came close to starting on sertraline but didn’t want to commit to long term meds and didn’t feel I was depressed even though I had terrible anxiety around the time the insomnia was worst and constantly felt on edge.

I am not sure exactly what worked but I think it was mostly my DH taking over the night feeds (we are down to one night wakeup so he can still get enough sleep). I took some sleeping pills (first solminix which is Promethazine and then Night Nurse as I had a heavy cold for a week) for a week or so but now I can sleep without them and am pretty much sleeping normally and the constant anxiety is also gone. I also took sone multi-vitamins and magnesium glycinate supplements but can’t really be sure if they helped or not.

i also signed up for CBT as I read that can help but was over the worst of it by the time the appointment came through.

Could be worth getting iron levels and thyroid function checked too. These were normal for me but I read they can cause sleep problems.

Just to add I hope you get over the insomnia soon OP. It can feel like it will last forever but really it won’t. I would try to enlist your DH for a few nights since it sounds like you are bottle feeding and try to reset your sleep with the help of sleeping pills if need be. Knowing that you won’t have to get up for the next feed can make a world of difference and reduce sone of that hyper aware feeling when you wonder if every noise means your baby is about to wake for a feed.