Emotional to DH going back to work or PND?

[MrsSmith1993]

Hi all,

I am a first time mum and welcomed my DS 2.5 weeks ago via emergency c section.

Before the c section I was in hospital for 4 days as they attempted to induce me. My DH was by my side throughout and I have never felt closer to him and actually enjoyed the quality time we got together even in a hospital setting. He then had 2 weeks off with me after DS was born, did more than his fair share as I was struggling due to c section. He returned to work this Monday. Before Monday I was on cloud 9 and absolutely over the moon with our new little family setup (albeit very tired).

Since DH has gone back to work I have suddenly felt very overwhelmed, very alone (despite a good support system outside of DH) and cry my eyes out most of the day. I feel so guilty feeling this way because I love DS so much and I should be enjoying this time with him.

Is this normal to feel so overwhelmed and emotional once your partner goes back to work or should I have a chat with my GP about possible PND?

Thanks x

Hi there. I now have a 5 month old son. I too, had an emergency c section and was put to sleep and high on morphine when 'awake' so I didn't get a proper chance to bond with my son. My partner was only off for a week with me, then had to return to work. The pain from trying to sit up and deal with a crying baby with such hard work. I cried many many times especially with the sleepless nights. BUT it does get better. 2 months on and he was sleeping through the night, and I found myself not crying as much. It does get easier. I promise. X

I was exactly the same when dh went back to work after our first. Took a good few weeks but it did pass. My hormones played havoc after both babies. Just keep and eye on it and if it’s not clearing have a work with a hcp.

Thank you so much for your reply and for providing me with reassurance. I think having the emergency c section definitely plays a part, the pain combined with disappointment in not getting the birth you planned. So glad things have picked up for you now 💕 x

@trailerandtractor thank you so much for you reply. That is very reassuring and nice to know I am not alone. Glad things picked up for you 💕 x

I had a similar experience. 3 days of on & off contractions, a failed induction and on day 5 an emergency c section. My husband was off for 2 weeks and did everything for us. When he went back to work I really thought I would never cope and was very emotional. Like others have said... It does get easier. He did make me a packed lunch every day and I had no pressure from him to complete any chores and tasks around the house. Keeping baby and myself fed and clean felt a big enough task! Anything else I managed to do was a bonus in the early weeks.

Remember it takes a long time for hormones to settle. Even at week 15 I still have my moments but feeling much more level now. I found it really helps to talk to other friends who have been through it recently if you have anyone. It can really help put your thoughts into perspective and also help you spot signs of PND. You can also always talk to your HV or GP if you're concerned.

@Stuckundersleepymoon thank you so much for you response. It sounds like we had a very similar experience so nice to know I'm not alone.
My DH is the same and has told me to leave any chores for him. Felt a huge sense of achievement today doing the washing up!

Sadly of my group of friends I am the first to have a baby so I don't have many people to speak to who understand :( I will defos keep an eye out and if it gets worse I'll speak to GP.

It is really hard! I sympathise. I found it really helpful to have a fabric sling for doing small jobs around the house. I wore this for about 10-15 minutes at a time from the 6 week mark after the GP check (just make sure you don't overdo it)

I don't have many friends that have a baby so I took myself to a latch on group and a baby group, I have found I like getting out of the house and having a few plans to keep me occupied. There are normally lots of Facebook groups for local mums in your area aswell if you're not sure what support is available.