8 days postpartum - health anxiety

[shan1995x]

Hi,

I've always suffered with health anxiety, I had hoped having my little baby would be the magic switch I needed and the health anxiety would just disappear. It's the worst it's been for such a long time, I know this is a mixture of hormones, having. a new baby and adjusting to this new life but I feel like I'm failing her.

I had an ELCS due to my fears surrounding a vaginal birth and I'm trying to deal with the recovery. I'm so scared of getting an infection in my scar, although everyone says it looks like it's healing nicely but I can't see INSIDE so I'm convinced I've got an infection in there.

My heart rate is super low in comparison to what it usually is, I'm usually sitting around 80 at a resting heart rate but the past few days it's been between 50-65 resting and it's freaking me out.

I am so scared that I am going to die and something bad will happen and I will leave my little girl and boyfriend. It's just so overwhelming.

I'm trying so hard to be a new mum, but I really feel like I am failing everyone by being consumed by my anxious thoughts.

Hi lovely I'm so sorry you are struggling. It is completely natural to feel heightened anxiety when you become a new Mum (normal but still a shock 🤯) but appreciate that when you have already struggled with health anxiety and you'd hoped this new perfect little person to focus on might help, it will feel disappointing that this isn't the case.

I would definitely recommend seeking some support as early as poss to talk through all those anxious thoughts in your head and make sense of them and over time they will reduce ❤️. Speak to your midwife all health visitor and see if any local post natal charities offer any mental health support. I had bad health anxiety about my daughter rather than myself and really wish I'd sought support sooner. Seeking support on here already shows the strength to want to get better because you are a wonderful caring Mum already and there will be no judgement from any health professional when seeking the same from them.

Thank you so much for your message.

The health visitor is coming in on Monday so I think I will try to have a good chat about all those worries. I just feel like a total failure but I'm hoping in time they will fade away and I will be able to appreciate all I'm doing for my little girl. I'm definitely trying my best 🧡

You are not a failure.

You've just been through something massive and you are adjusting. Anyone would feel a bit wobbly.

You are not a failure. Please stop beating yourself up with that idea, you don't deserve it.

Try not to worry - I was the exact same as you with the health anxiety until about 6 weeks post partum as I’d had pre eclampsia before birth (and was in and out of triage with various ailments afterwards which didn’t help). I think at about 6 weeks I felt better as I knew I wasn’t in that proper “post partum” bit anymore and I’m now 4 months postpartum and don’t panic about my health at all. You’ll be fine!