Terrified to have another baby after PND - where can I get help?

[PocketRocket12]

My son is 2.5. I got PND when he was 10 months and was in a really bad way for a long time. I have very few fond memories of when he was small and it kills me and fills me with guilt.

We have a great relationship and I enjoy being a mum and being back at work (although am very tired!)

My husband really wants another baby and I suppose on some level I do? I am not broody and any thoughts around having a new baby take me straight back to those feelings and feel a bit like PTSD. However when I look maybe 10 years into the future, I do see us having more than one child.

How do I know if I’m ready or if it’s what I want? Is there anywhere to go for help or support? I don’t know where to start but I’m still very affected at a deep level and I don’t know how to get past it.

Did you get treatment the first time? if you’re in England or Wales, there is a perinatal mental health service specifically for women experiencing any kind of mental health troubles during pregnancy or postnatal. There are a wide range of therapies women can access through them.

I recommend requesting a referral during pregnancy so you can look at options available before you get unwell

I have previously worked in mental health services but not specifically perinatal. I had good relationships with those in the service though

@prescribingmum thank you for your very helpful reply. I did and the mental health team were fantastic. In my area we only get support for first 12 months after birth but they signposted me to another service after I reached that threshold.

I can’t even imagine getting pregnant whilst feeling this way, I don’t even think I want another child but can’t be sure. Perhaps it’s private counselling that I need to unpack how I feel?

The government plans are working towards increasing the provision to 2 years post birth but every area of the country is at a different stage at implementing these plans.

I think it would be worth having therapy to try unpick your feelings and help you plan for next time so you feel prepared and have some confidence in how you will approach things. Again, provision for things like this vary up and down the country but worth asking your GP if anything is available to you before considering private