Postnatal PTSD after hospital stay

[ifihavetomove]

I had planned a home birth for my first baby but the service was short staffed so we had to go into hospital, where baby and I got an infection and had to stay for 5 days.

I know people go through a lot worse but I found it so tough. I don't have an anxiety diagnosis but I have had some therapy for feelings so anxiety caused by feeling lack of control (like not having free will) which is a big trigger for me and hospital was exactly this.

I felt so trapped and exhausted, there wasn't a 2 hour period that went by without being disturbed for some kind of check or other. I am home now but I keep having flashbacks to it.

Now I'm finding the evenings really hard - this is when my husband had to leave because of visiting hours. I get flashbacks to it and start to panic and have to remind myself I'm safe at home. I don't know what to do to deal with this but it's making every evening so hard. Any advice you have on what I could do or who I could speak to would be really appreciated. I don't want it to look like I can't cope with the baby, I just want the panic feeling to go away.

I’m sorry I don’t have much advice, only solidarity. I was “let out” of postnatal last night after practically begging to go home. It really is a rather depressing place to be - no natural light, all those blue curtains, bleeping and crying babies. I found it hard being told I couldn’t leave over and over again too. You just feel a bit at their mercy (even though I know they are trying to do a good job, the staff shortages and inefficiencies make the whole experience woeful for mums). My best advice would be to talk about it to as many people as will listen because I think it helps you process it all. Beyond that I would seek medical advice. Hope you feel better soon and can enjoy your baby!

I had mild PTSD after a difficult pregnancy and birth which ended in a 3 night hospital stay. I had many of the things you mention above and tried to put on a brave face but felt awful. I mentioned it to my health visitor and she was fantastic. I got referred to mental health support and had a few sessions of EMDR. HV also came to see us regularly which really helped. Tell them how you feel - it's what they are there for and there is help available for you.

My heart goes out to you, I had a similar experience - anxiety attacks and flashbacks after a postnatal hospital stay.

EMDR therapy was absolutely life changing for me. I discovered it after researching on Mumsnet. I got it privately, which I was lucky to be able to do. It was approx £100 per session (in London) and I had about 8 monthly sessions, but it was seriously worth every penny for me. I was also never going to go back to the maternity ward for support or a debrief or anything like that because the trust had been completely broken.

You can look up descriptions online, but essentially EMDR therapy seems to work by alternately stimulating the right/left hemispheres of your brain while you focus on the traumatic event allowing you to ‘revile’ it in your brain so it isn’t sitting around unprocessed causing all the PTSD symptoms. I was pretty sceptical even after my first session, then the second one hit me like witchcraft and from then on I didn’t look back.

it’s not like a ‘talking cure’ therapy either - you do talk about your experiences, but in a very supported/scaffolded way. Just ‘talking it out’ wouldn’t have worked for me.

‘Refile’ not ‘revile’ - d’oh!

@PerpetualStudent I thought exactly the same! I have no idea how it worked but it did and it was almost like a lightbulb moment. I went from having a complete breakdown at the sight (or sound) of someone having an ultrasound scan on Hollyoaks, to now looking forward to the arrival of my second baby. It's magic stuff. OP make sure you speak to your health visitor or midwife as they will be able to help.

Just wanted to say, 5 nights on post natal ward had the same effect on me. They need to sort to. It’s not the right environment for recovery.

I’ve suffered from postnatal PTSD and I’m just coming out the other side now. I’d definitely speak to your GP. That’s what I did and I was referred for trauma CBT which has helped loads

I had my son 8 months ago. Induced due to gestational diabetes, 3 day induction and then a long wait for the labour ward as later found out was busiest day of the year. babies heartbeat was all over whole way through but they did nothing, whilst I was pushing his heart rate dropped rapidly ended up with episiotomy and ventouse delivery. My son had fluid on his stomach so was constantly choking and gagging and had blood shot eyes. Got a huge hematoma on my stitch line, now have possible nerve damage. Still in pain to this day.

I was on top of the world for first two weeks. Then I became really traumatised by the birth. Lashed out at my partner. Couldn’t sleep. I felt depressed all day everyday. Felt embarrassed. Doctor said I had ptsd at my 8 week check up. I’m still struggling 8 months later and yet to ring them back for anti depressants and referral for talking therapy as I find it really hard.

I know it’s hard to open up as I felt feelings of embarrassment, I felt like no one understood I thought “mums give birth everyday” it’s not talked about enough. I watched a few videos on Facebook and it made me realise we’re not alone

please feel free to private message me anytime!! I really felt like no one else would understand but people do xxxxx

I know how hard it can be so please feel free to message me if you ever need a chat, I had a 3 day hospital stay after my son was born and after a 3 day induction. Hadn’t slept at all and partner had to leave after birth due to covid. Do you have a good support network lovely? Xx

So sorry you went through this. UK maternity care is shocking. It has been for a long time and has only got worse for this generation.

It took 10 years before I could talk about my postnatal experience with my first child. But the feelings did fade with time. I still feel angry, but at a political and social level. I don't get thrown back into depression and distress when I think about it. If I still lived in the UK I'd try to get involved in one of the organizations that campaigns for better maternity services.

There are probably more active things you can do to recover more quickly, but I suppose what I mean is that if you don't have energy for therapeutic interventions, which I didn't, time really is a healer.

just offering solidarity I had awful experience there too. So much focus on birth that you don’t consider what it will be like on the ward. I asked for help as I couldn’t move well after the birth and the midwife said something like ‘we are not a babysitting service’ and all I wanted was some help. My baby was crying and my arms were to weak to pick him up. Some other mums tried to help and picked him up for me.

this was 12 years ago.

I ended up with postnatal psychosis and ended up 5 weeks in mother and baby unit.

I had no history of mental health problems but I really feel the expirenence of 2 nights on that ward contributed. I didn’t sleep at all. How is that environment good for a new mum.

keep talking about it and do ask for whatever help you needed. I think some sleeping tablets would have helped me but they wanted to avoid that due to breast feeding.

it will get easier, I promise but do see if you can get a referral for some mental health suppprt. No one will think you can’t cope so try not to worry about that.

congrats on your baby.