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Postnatal health

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PND - what's normal and what isn't?

1 reply

foxcote90 · 21/10/2022 21:19

Apologies in advance for the ramble and general brain dump...

I've had 2 babies in 18 months of each other - the youngest is now nearly 1. I'm self employed so in both cases had to go back to work within 3-4 weeks but part time ish and then build up from there.

The first was born in early lockdown and despite having to work with no extra childcare I really enjoyed that time.

When second was born we had childcare in place 5 days a week as both me and OH are self employed so couldn't take paid leave.

After 2nd birth all was great but over time I have felt more and more detached from real life and now I think of it, feel like I've just been in a haze for the past year. I've definitely struggled to find joy in situations and whilst I can easily engage with friends, I definitely don't feel like I am enjoying that time as much as normal.

Also, because I have been working since baby was born, I've realised I have become very detached. Until very recently I genuinely think I would have struggled to identify her in a line up and although I breastfeed I've really struggled to register the cuddles and time I have with her.

I said to my husband the other day that I definitely haven't had a years worth of cuddles which makes me desperately sad. Partly because I'm working but even when I'm there I'm not really 'there'.

2nd baby is also a terrible sleeper so I haven't had a full nights sleep since she was born - which i know is very common and not helping the situation

Also - TMI, sorry - after first baby, periods came back after 6 months and suddenly I felt back to my normal self. This time they came back at 3 months but I don't think the hormonal response came with it and I still feel really flat.

So after all of that, what I'd love to know is, is it NORMAL? I spoke to my GP and she said it's all very common and I just need to get outside and exercise more. She said she can prescribe pills but doesn't think I need it.

I don't know whether I should be calling her back and trying to push more or whether this is all normal and I should just take her advice.

If you have any similar experience I would really appreciate knowing what you've done. Thank you so much

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
surreyisik · 22/10/2022 11:27

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. There have been times I felt / was detached for different reasons being a first time mom. It comes to me as a defence mechanism to stress. Could you ask your GP / HV refer you to talking therapy and support groups with other mums to become a bit more present / mindful and hear similar stories from other mums to mentally normalise? I think when it comes to feelings it's all normal and acceptable 💐 it's really not easy but we got this!

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