Can it be postpartum depression after 3 months?

[toothiepegs]

NC’d for this.

I have the most beautiful little boy after 6 round of IVF. He’s a happy, easygoing baby who sleeps well and I love him to pieces.

I was terrified of pp depression having had a history of depression and the struggles that it took to get pregnant - I was worried that it wouldn’t be what I expected, but after the birth and up until now I’ve felt great.

Over the last few days, I just can’t stop crying. I’m not hungry, food doesn’t taste good, I can’t think of anything I want to do to make myself feel better other than take my baby to bed and lock myself away and read while he sleeps. I hate my postpartum body - I’ve been exercising and calorie counting and haven’t lost a pound which Is probably to do with hormones and breastfeeding but it’s making me feel absolutely out of control. My husband is understandably getting irritated that I’m constantly going on about my weight. I’m trying to make sure I’m getting up and getting dressed etc - put on nice clothes and some makeup yesterday to take him for a walk but felt so silly and so self conscious half way round I came home in tears.

I’m constantly scared I’ll accidentally hurt my baby - I worry that if he’s next to me I might accidentally roll over and crush his head or if Im cooking whilst he’s asleep that the knife might slip. Rationally, I know this is silly but I keep picturing these ‘what if’ scenarios.

Is this just a drop in hormones or something more serious? I am beginning to feel like I did when I was depressed previously but wondering if it will pass.

Please seek help from your GP. I thought my feelings would pass, it made things a lot worse.

Also you are only 12 weeks pp, give your body a chance to rest before trying to lose weight.

@BritishDesiGirl thank you. I know I’m being impatient, and when I’m feeling okay, I’m really proud of what my body’s done but when I’m not it’s just another reason to beat myself up and feel useless.

What helped you deal with it? I’ve had antidepressants previously and hated the way they made me feel so I’m worried if I go to the GP that’s what will happen.

I had anti depressants. They will make you worse before making you feel better. There are other things that you can do but SSRIs really helped me.

I would speak to the doctor about alternative treatments.

Does sound like it could be depression OP. Mine really hit / I only realised what it was when my DD was 6 months old. Please speak to your GP. I started sertraline and in 2 weeks felt so much better.