Fuck. I thought I was over / dealt with my birth trauma but a very close friend had a baby recently. I'm happy she didn't have a horrible time of it but now these horrible feeling of jealousy are taking over!
At 3 weeks her baby is sleeping 4/5/6 hours and she's been able to walk her baby on her own. She's also coping really well with taking care her of baby, playing etc. I know it's not all sunshine and roses and people tell you the best parts of they day etc. but fuck it can't help but compare.
I couldn't take of my baby on my own for a long time. I couldn't breastfeed. I couldn't walk for 8 weeks. I probably have long lasting health damage. My baby at 2 still doesn't sleep much, still taking a bottle in the night. The mental scars are so intense that we are likely to only have 1 child. I still have intense periods of hysterical crying if I think about that first year.
Plus I had a pregnancy / birth in covid, we were by ourselves for a long time.
How to get over it? Therapy? What kind?
I'm already on a ton of drugs to get through the day. That's all my GP does.