Am I mad that I crave for validation and motivations?

[AustraliaMom]

Hi moms, I have a young boy and he is 3 month old and extremely cute! I am currently staying home and I don't know is it because I am just basically being a mom than anything else, I don't get the validation which I used to get from work anymore. What I meant is that I used to get some sort of feedback from others regularly, a pat on the back etc... but now I don't see those anymore. My husband also works but he is very busy. I am sure he appreciates me as he sends me gift etc periodically. But I somehow crave for something or someone or even a random post telling me on days and nights that I am doing ok. I am trying my best. Basically something simple but nice to hear. Family and friends of course are there but they won't be there all the time when you need a pat on the back the most... could be at late night feed or something....anyone feels the same? You know we log our baby schedule right, sometimes I look at the schedule I was like omg I didn't do anything for myself in a day, a week, or a month.... the losing of myself also made me sad 😞 anyone feels the same? Sorry for the long post 😢

You're not mad at all for wanting this, especially as what youre doing now is so relentlessly physically and emotionally demanding!
But IME you might get a kind word every now and then, but nothing like you want or feel you should get for the amazing job youre doing.

And im afraid its worse if you have another child 😑

I found that a kind word from older ladies while out with the buggy, or people saying how DC seem so happy and content (as BS as that may have been!) was a help

"You're not mad at all for wanting this,"
I totally disagree
Why would you need validation from anyone
Live your life
Do the best you can
The world is not all that interested in your your life or your child
They are to busy with their own lives

"especially as what youre doing now is so relentlessly physically and emotionally demanding!"
Have you seen what is going on in the wider world?
I have looked after babies.
It is not in any way "relentlessly physically and emotionally demanding!"

Thank you for the kind words. And yes I think I am not asking for spot lights but just some occasional warm validation. Exactly as you say, sometimes even a nod or a nice note from friendly strangers passing by will be nice to hear! I suppose someone could be so strong that they don't need that extra validation from outside but as a mom, i get emotional and I just want to know I am not alone 🥹

Raising babies is a thankless task but the best thing you'll ever do 😀

This is so true. I do get so much joy just seeing my baby happy and healthy. I suppose what I meant is some occasions dopamine boost from people, or from even just some validation words or internet will be nice 🥲

Of course! I think any mother wants to be seen, its a big change in our whole world and you want to know your doing ok. From the constant "i did it this way, you wait until they are doing this" its nice to have a "your doing amazing, your a great mother, i see how much of yourself you put in this". This is what i crave and its not like im someone who cant work without encouragement.

I feel like i need to ask permission for a shower, ive not had a relaxing moment since birth (and no people telling me i need to chill or relax doesnt help lol)

Im never alone yet its the most lonely I've felt. Because I bring no monetary value i have to justify my existence. I would love to have a mummy friendship group and have coffee and unload my stresses. your not alone <3

This is so true!! I feel 100% what you feel 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
I sometimes find myself staring at some random motivational quotes like the one you mentioned on twitter or IG, then I just feel instantly better. Cuz it's something I want to hear or it's some validation. It actually gets me going. I know it sounds sad but true. It's good that this kind of forum exist for us to talk when we feel the same and lonely. But sometimes I almost wish there is like a chat room we can do instant chats or even voice chats (cuz our hands are constantly busy doing some work or chores), when we feel lonely.zzz