Piles, prolapses, urethra problems, tears. What's normal ladies?

[beansprout55]

Hi,

Just that really. I've exhausted Google and can't seem to find the answers i'm looking for. Want to know from your experience about some things if you're willing to share.

Background info; 30yrs, first baby, I'm 9 weeks PP, natural nasty birth with a second degree tear, self diagnosed posterior prolapse (rectocele) so self referred to woman's physio who confirmed it and made sure I was doing kegals properly then sent me on my way. (I think it was grade 2). Diastatis recti too. A few UTI's already (was always prone), started having sex one month PP.

Questions

1. Urethra - I couldn't even see mine before childbirth, but now it's a giant area that is so visible. It looks a mess down there tbh. I had a catheter during labour - constant UTI feeling in the evenings still but I don't think I have one as peeing is uneventful and pain free! Is it normal for things to look SO different down there externally? I had a hole before now it looks like I have 3 holes and a giant lump of scar tissue around the perineum. Is this normal? I've tried googling photos but they're all surgical and no help. How do you know if you need corrective surgery? I'm just so surprised about the mess down there - I assumed the hole would be bigger, but the hole area??

1. Prolapse. I know there's no cure and it's still early days, but will this constant dragging feel ever subside? It's not painful at all but just a constant discomfort and it's actually depressing me. Did any of you have a grade 2 prolapse after birth that got a bit better?

1. How long did it take you to achieve the tightness you are now. Some people say 6 weeks, others say 6 months. I don't feel much in sex still, too loose maybe? I'm not sure that's normal and I'm worried it's a permanent thing.

1. Prolapsed piles. I notice them during bowl movements, they go back inside after. Do I need to do anything about this? It's very embarrassing! I don't know if it's them or the prolapse that makes me go little and often.

1. I don't know if it's my period on the way but I've had cramps for two days, bad enough to need a hot water bottle - no spotting or blood yet. Do you think this is a period or I should get checked?

So many issues post birth has put me off having another natural birth which is so upsetting. C section next time if all this hangs around.

Hi, I just wanted to comment as I saw no-one had and it sounds like you are having such a rough time of it. If I were you I would speak to gp about the whole lot. I recently had my first baby by emergency c section, the potential probs from a c-section are different so I am just trying to take it easy and will have to wait and see, but if I was in your shoes I would ask to see a gp for a double appointment and go through all of it!

I had piles at the end if the pregnancy and they briefly worsened afterfor sure.... I think it's a bit better, but I have been too scared to investigate them in case they haven't just magically vanished like everyone and their dog said they would.

I hope you get some more feedback and comments soon and that things start to improve for you.

I remember feeling so shocked post-birth at just what a mess everything was - I felt like everyone warned me about labour but no-one prepared me for recovery! My recovery was very slow too - it was about 3 weeks before I could sit upright.

It's possible that much of it is very 'normal', but that doesn't mean you don't need support to figure out what is and what isn't and how to care for yourself. I couldn't pee sitting down for about 2 weeks after (had to hover standing over the toilet) and was convinced I had irreversible damage, but it all worked itself out in time. But if you're concerned then you should definitely seek support.

Our hospital where I have birth offered follow-up advice for about 10 weeks after - is that an option? Otherwise could you go to your GP and ask who the best person is for follow-up. Sometimes its just a case of persevering until you find a professional who is empathetic and will listen to you. I remember sobbing down the phone to a lovely GP about a week after birth and she was so gentle, and then a follow-up midwife to check stitches etc who was also really supportive and took my concerns seriously.

Hope you manage to find the support you need!

Thanks so much for replying ladies. So hard isn't it. I just want to know if what I'm feeling or experiencing will improve. GP doesn't offer much advice and my physio just confirmed I was doing kegals correctly. I do see her again 12 weeks PP (so 2 weeks time), although it's just to check my abs have closed I think. Sigh.
Fed up of feeling like I have a tampon stuck inside me - it makes me cry so much, the feeling.

I follow a physiotherapist on Insta - think her name is Hayley Kav PT. she offers some amazing advice and I've learnt so much from her.

she's all about women's pelvic health - you could DM her to find out some pointers on where/how to start.

So sorry to hear you are having a chappy time but I wanted to reassure you, it does get better. I had my 2nd DC January 2022 and after I had both anterior and posterior relapse, it felt like my arse was hanging out. I went to the GP to confirm and they suggested physio ( still waiting for the appointment, it's at the end of this month) The good news is I did the excercises every day, made sure I sat on the toilet every morning to have a bowel movement and this helped greatly. I was scared to go to the toilet initially but ended up constipated which made the whole situation worse. I'd recommend Senna laxatives to make sure you don't get constipated, continue with the excercises, and gradually things will start tightening up again, it finally starting to improve 7 months PP for me! Also had recurrent piles for month, used ansol cream most days and now they have eventually gone. With the thickness in the perineum, that's very normal if you've had a tear, I did with my first pregnancy ( 4 years ago) and I still have that now, it doesn't hurt abd it's just something you get used to. Don't worry things will get better, it just can take a while!

*Meant to say crappie time

Meant to say piles for months and months