To consider a baby so soon?!

[Kinderslice]

NC for this.

Posting for some advice and/or personal experiences.

I had my first baby two months ago and considering getting pregnant towards the end of this year.

Here’s my issue, despite my labour being good I’ve found the aftermath extremely hard. I had a 2nd degree perennial tear which became infected twice, two weeks apart (mostly likely the initial antibiotics weren’t sufficient enough and therefore the infection didn’t clear properly). Basically I’ve only started to feel ok again down below the past two weeks.

After my birth, two consultants advised me to go on contraception and said, “you don’t want to be back here in 12 months”. They didn’t say why and I didn’t ask.

Has anyone experienced a 2nd degree tear and given birth again within 18 months? If so, did your scars re-open or did you experience any other birthing injuries?

I have an 8 week old too (my first), I'm planning on getting pregnant again just before his 1st birthday. So, I'll start trying again when DS is 10/11 months old.

Reasons being DH is 41, I'm 31. We decided this months ago, before our baby was even born. Only thing I'm worried about is my downstairs.

I had a second degree tear too, and a self diagnosed posterior prolapse (rectocele). I self referred to physio who confirmed it so she's made sure I'm doing my Kegals properly. I've also found recovery SO tough.

Warning TMI....
Have you had sex yet? Im MOST concerned about that and given we gave birth around the same time id be interested to know if I should be worried or if you're the same.
I still can't feel DH when he's inside and I'm worried about it. I can feel him go in as the opening is still a little sore from the stitches probs, but inside is either numb or too roomy?! I'm so anxious. Our sex life was amazing before baby came, I'm worried it's over. I thought my pelvic floor was strong. 6weeks PP physio said it was strength 3/5 which is good at that stage. Seeing her again 12 weeks PP, but at 8 weeks on I still can't feel him 🙁
Will definitely have a c section next time if things don't improve.

Sorry - didn't actually answer your Q! I think it's to give you time to recover, hormones, vagina and uterus. Google will tell you. I think you're high risk if you get pregnant immediately after giving birth.

@beansprout55
I too have a prolapse, I was aware of it also and pointed it out to my doctor who confirmed it’s, ‘a mild prolapse’, in his words. I can feel it when I stand/walk and it’s visible when squatting down. I’ve my first physio appointment next week, so will ask more about it then.

I haven’t had sex yet! I will soon, I think. I’ve read a lot online about prolapse causing loss of sensation during sex, I was hoping this wouldn’t be the case for me, but it most likely will be. I think I’m putting it off because I’m scared of things feeling so different, well that and feeling a little tender still.

Has your physio mentioned what happens with the prolapse? Is it possible for it to go back into place again?

@Kinderslice , I'm no medic but that's not the description of a 'mild' prolapse.

I had a 3rd degree tear with no prolapse or lasting gynae issues, and the gynaecologist I saw 10 weeks post birth for a check up said not to get pregnant for 2 years to allow everything to heal up. So there must be reasons for it. Only you know if you're willing to risk worsening symptoms by weakening your pelvic floor again so soon after an injury.

I had a third degree tear as well but not other issues.

I got pregnant with my second when my eldest was 16 months old and they are almost exactly 2 years apart.

I'd assumed that I'd tear again second time, but I didn't even though DC2 was bigger than DC1. I guess it was a good repair job and it had healed properly.

Tbh by a year old I was ready to be pregnant again, before that I was just not ready physically.

@Footle my thoughts exactly. He had seen me two weeks previously and didn’t mention any prolapse. When I seen him again I asked him about it and he said it’s mild and therefore didn’t mention it, he also said, “most people wouldn’t notice that”, however it doesn’t feel mild to me. Will be great to get a second opinion next week.

@snowflake29 @Twizbe e thanks for sharing. Maybe it would be best to wait until baby is one.

@Kinderslice
She was VERY vague. At 6 weeks PP they simply won't know how things will be. You hear stories on MN about prolapse after birth and that a few months down the line they have no symptoms whatsoever and great sex. Praying that'll be me!

Sounds like you have a grade2/3 - not mild. Does the bulge go past the hymen? Or is it just visible upon close inspection?
Mine was grade 2. I'm hoping with exercise and PP recovery it will be grade 1. Also once I'm finished BF my muscles will stop being so lax, but that will barely make a difference really so no plans to stop that sooner.

Grade 1 you have a prolapse but it's high and it can cause mild symptoms or you won't notice it
Grade 2 it's dropped to the opening of your vagina, but not coming out! You will have symptoms or you won't, again.
Grade 3 it's coming out a bit past the hymen, so obviously symptoms
Grade 4 I think it's quite a few cm out
(Written this by memory so probably not 100% accurate! - Google it!)

Everyone raved about physio saying how much it would help, but I think that's for people who don't know how to do kegals. I did, so other than her confirming my diagnosis it was a waste of time. I saw a gynaecologist and she told me after 12 weeks PP there isn't much change left to happen (in terms of general recovery down below after a vaginal birth) so by then they will know what problems will last. I only asked her in regards to my looseness and loss of sensation.

My prolapse happened 5 weeks PP, like you I could feel it when walking and sitting (so uncomfortable!) and I could see it on close inspection (didn't drop past hymen). I'm using the Kegal 8 machine plus 5 sets of Kegals daily and it's definitely improving. I only notice it sometimes now, I've been doing this for 3 weeks, although I was doing Kegals a couple of times a day before it happened. So I'm expecting big improvements once my pelvic floor is 5/5.

Sorry, essay. At the risk of not wanting to sound gross, please let me know how things go when you, ahem. I'm trying to remain hopeful that sensation will improve.