Feeling left out at sea and not knowing what to do

[Mamabear04]

I'm almost 4 weeks post partum. My birth was a difficult one and I suffered a 3rd degree tear both in my pernium and in the tube in my bumhole. I lost 1.5L of blood during the birth and another 0.5L in surgery after when they were fixing my tube/internal bleeding.

That being said things were going well in terms of healing but 3 nights ago I got out of bed to feed my baby and I felt something go and I started bleeding again - not a lot but maybe like a very very light period or something. I built up the courage and had a look and it looked like my pernium so called the GP. GP was short staffed so I was seen by the practise nurse who said my stitches had loosened/come undone slightly but she seemed very hesitant to do anything about it and said hopefully it can wait until my 6 week check up but also proceeded to tell me the tear was extremely close to my bumhole. This made me so upset because I don't know exactly what she was trying to say - be careful or you'll rip yourself a new one? I don't feel entirely confident in her decision. She said to have a bath with salt and to air the wound which I have been doing. However yesterday I felt like a needed a poo but couldn't go easily and didn't want to push so I waited until I knew it would be easier to go and that it was actually time to go. I went for a pee maybe 10 mins before and again saw blood (the bleeding had stopped for maybe 12 hours) and then I went for a poo and the bleeding started again.

This morning I have been for 2 poos and no blood but again I feel I need to go but am not ready yet and the bleeding has started again. I just don't know what to do and I feel so emotional. I just feel left out at sea now that I've been discharged by the midwives and I am so worried that this could cause problems in the future with my bowels etc. I've been taking lactulose to help and I tried calling the community midwives to ask for advice but because its the weekend noone is getting back to me. should I call NHS24 or wait until Monday and call the GP again? I'm not sure if this is normal or if I'm getting myself worked up about it or what to do. I just feel so shit and emotional and embarrassed by it all. Van anyone advise?

Please take stool softeners- on top of the lactulose

the healthcare in this country is appalling at the moment

id have thought you should have been referred back to the hospital so that they can check your stitches?

im surprised they are still there after all this time??

call the surgery and ask to talk to the practice manager!

Don’t take no for an answer

Also consider ringing the HV and the maternity ward for advice from a MW

@Quitelikeit I was told I would get an appointment after 3 months to check back that everything was OK. I'll try the stool softeners too, thanks for the advice. I'm not sure what is normal re stitches. I'm not sure of anything really. I just feel so upset, I mean like why do you only get 2 weeks of dedicated care after birth? Do you think I should wait until Monday to call the GP again?

Is it dissolving stitches she’s talking about ? You should have had non dissolving ones out by now.

And years ago you could be kept in by the MW for longer if you needed it. Progress hey.

@KangarooKenny I honestly don't know what kind of stitches I've got. It turns out I don't know much about what happened to me or whats normal!

I think you should phone the GP on Monday and ask what stitches you have, as we used to take them out at 7-10 days.
I think they will be reluctant to do anything before the magic 6 week mark.
Keep your poo soft. I’d eat some prunes, about 4-6 a day, as I prefer the natural way and it does work.
Keep your bum clean and dry. Salt bath every day if you can, you can just soak your bum if you want, and clean ST at least twice a day.
Demand a review at 6 weeks .

Could you go to minor injuries this weekend and ask for advice. Do you have someone who could come with you - to help you remember questions/advocate for you.
Take a list of questions and some paper to take notes. It’s hard to remember what’s been said/done when you are in a totally understandably upset and emotional.
Also back to the Gp to get a referral to a gynecologist- even if you have to wait a long time. To check it all and make sure all is well and no further action needed.
Im so so sorry you are dealing with this and a new baby. It’s so outrageous. My heart goes out to you.

@KangarooKenny thank you so much for this advice. Did you used to be a midwife? I honestly wish I could have had the midwives for 6 weeks post partum!

@NrlySp thank you so much for your sympathy. I just feel so alone in it all. I'm really not sure whether to call out of hours as I'm not sure it's an emergency but I'm so upset by it. I just feel very confused by it all and not sure what the best point of call is....

I would still call the ward for advice. You poor thing. Buy the stool softeners today, if you have come open you might be at risk of infection.

I wonder if she meant a fissure? Still the best way to heal it is stool softeners

you know the codeine they give you actually causes rock hard stools. They didn’t tell me that. Pooing was absolutely agony. I will never forget it

@Quitelikeit thank you for your sympathetic words. I really appreciate it.

I ended up calling the ward who saw me and said that the stitches have indeed dissolved but the tear had come apart slightly. They gave me antibiotics as a precaution and then made a follow up appointment for 5 days time.

Thank you to everyone who responded. I was really at a low point today and all your words of wisdom and sympathy got me through!x

Glad you e got it sorted, it will give you some confidence.

Thanks @KangarooKenny I'm off to buy some prunes!