My vaginal opening looks awful 3 weeks postpartum

[sasscass]

i had a baby 19 days ago, i had a forceps delivery and an epiosotomy. i only just had the guts to look down below at my vaginal opening (the hole) and it looks absolutely awful. its quite red and it looks lumpy, i cant even see where the hole is meant to be! It all looks messed up.
only 2 ways to describe it is that it looks like something from stranger things, like a demogorgons mouth. Lol. Or, it looks like a butcher hacked at a pile of meat. It’s a proper mess.

i don’t know if this is just the way it’s meant to look from now on or if I have something wrong. Do any other women know what I’m talking about or am I alone on this one?

Could it be a prolapse? I have a lump that can protrude at times. Pelvic floor exercises help but don’t get rid of it completely. It’s like baggy skin that sags down. Really lovely!

The body can take quite a while to heal OP, so please don't stress just 19 days after your (quite physically traumatic), delivery. I remember being told when I was pregnant that it takes 9 months for your body to change in pregnancy and it takes 9 months for it to go back to normal (with perhaps a few modifications, like stretch marks, a scar or two, etc). Soft tissues take much longer to heal than you think. So put down the mirror, do your pelvic floor exercises religiously and give it time. And congratulations on your baby

@maranella thank you! ❤

& in regards to the pelvic floor exercises, I tried doing them before I was pregnant and I’ve sat here for the past 10 minutes trying to do them and I have the same outcome as pre-pregnancy.. I don’t know if I’m doing it wrong or something but I imagine myself doing a wee, then stopping it midstream but all I feel is my vaginal opening clench and it just makes blood flow down there lol. I can’t hold the clench, I couldn’t before pregnancy either. I tried searching up on Google if it’s meant to make blood rush to your nether regions but I can’t find anything!

@Beggingforsleep I did suspect that to be honest. I looked up pictures of prolapses and none of them look like what I’ve got going on downstairs but it was the first thing that came to my mind.

how do I know that I’m doing pelvic floor exercises properly? I told the other lady I replied to about it, I imagine myself doing a wee and trying to stop it midflow but all it does is make my hooha clench temporarily and have a pulse lol I don’t know if I’m doing it properly.

It's only been 19 days op. Mine still looks like a badly packed kebab 14 years later. I think as long as it's healing ok and not causing you undue pain then count that as a win.

My mw told me not to look until at least 6 months down the line, and still then not to expect it looks anything like it used to.

Can't say about you but mine looked like a gaping cave! Looks fine now, just takes time.

For pelvic floor I really recommend buying something rather than messing round with clenching ... I bought a vaginal tens machine that does it for you, but later I got a pelvic floor trainer called elvie that syncs with your phone and shows if you're doing it properly.

Don't rely on the NHS. If you value your pelvic floor, there's tons out there these days to help

It sounds like you're still experiencing lochia OP, which after less than three weeks is normal. If you find it hard to locate the correct muscles to clench though, have a word with your midwife or health visitor.

You've had a lot of trauma down there and your muscles were cut (during the episiotomy), plus forceps can cause some damage too, so I wouldn't stress too much at this stage. You should have a check-up six weeks post-partum and at that point they'll be able to see how your healing is progressing and refer you for physio if it's necessary.

I can't believe you looked - very brave.
I didn't look until probably 6 months later and it all looked 'normal' by then. But I'm pretty it would not have been a pretty sight 3 weeks post birth.
I did have an examination with a consultant maybe 4-6 weeks after birth and he didn't gasp at the sight so I suppose all was as expected in visual terms. No idea, but everything worked fine which was my main concern.
If it feels ok and there's no discomfort or any issues, I'd say give it time to recover itself.

It can take a while to heal - I was never brave enough to take a look at that point yet, honestly I didn’t need a mirror to know it wasn’t going to look ‘normal’ 😄 I think how it looks at the moment isn’t really important as long as it feels like things are ok. So not too painful, being able to go to toilet ok, that kind of thing. But if you are concerned then mention it at your next check up.

@maranella i am still bleeding, I didn’t put two and two together until you mentioned that.. that could be why it’s red! Silly me. The skin on my vulva area outside the opening is red, sore and itchy so I might have an infection going on. Either that or the blood has irritated the area, I stupidly rubbed it to ease the itching yesterday so I could’ve made it sore myself.

is the 6 week postpartum check up at the doctors where they ask you to bring the baby? I got a letter talking about a health check up for me and my daughter and it’s exactly 6 weeks after my daughters birth so that must be it.

For pelvic floor, clench the anus first and then round up to the vagina if that makes sense? Just do squeeze and release (and repeat) at first to get your body used to it. Once the muscle strengthens a bit you can focus on holding the clench - start with for 2 seconds each time and then build up by adding another second etc.

@ArcticSkewer I put a mirror between my legs and there’s a black gap between my flaps lol! air goes up there, makes popping noises like bubbles when I move… Out of all things I never thought this would happen postpartum but hey ho. They used to touch and now everything looks stretched out, as you said, like a cave is the best way to describe it!

i will look into that, thank you for that suggestion. I do have kegel balls but no way in hell do I want to insert those right now.
it’s hard just trying to clench at what not, I can’t tell what I’m doing and what I’m clenching

Yes, they'll check both you and your DD and that's the time to tell them about any worries you have about your healing.

Itching can be a sign of healing - I've had many an itchy scab and had to resist the temptation to scratch - but if you're worried that there is an infection get it checked out. An infection will usually be painful, swollen, red and may have an odour.

Are you having regular cool baths with Epsom Salts to aid healing? I found those very soothing after delivering both my DC and it helps to keep the area clean too.

it’s hard just trying to clench at what not, I can’t tell what I’m doing and what I’m clenching

People over think it and over do it. Just imagine you’re holding in a wee, that’s a simple way of doing it.

They don't necessarily look at anything at the 6 w check. I've had 3 babies - 1 vaginal (3rd degree tear) and 2 c sections. I've only been examined once at the 6w check and that was because I'd had an infection in my c section incision 3 weeks prior so the GP wanted to check it had cleared. With my 3rd degree tear, no one checked after I left hospital. If you want the GP to look you may have to ask! Also, I just wouldn't look at this stage, it's very early days.

I’m very taken with your description. A demigorgons mouth!

Don't worry it's really early days yet. Wait til after the 6 week check, ask for a vaginal exam, then maybe try the elvie (there's another similar one the nhs uses but I can't remember) or a tens if really having problems feeling the muscles