So I'm a new mum and for the last two days I have had some breakdowns . I feel like when I'm round other people's they can call my baby and not me like two days ago I was round my friends and as soon as they held him he settled but it felt like to me he wouldt settle on me .I mean I don't went to go out in case he starts crying and I'm scared to go out in case he starts and he won't be calm on me . I broke down two times in a day because I thought he didn't love me and that if he dosnt love me then what's the point of me loving him . I'm tierd and I have to go round people's as don't went to be on my own because I can't handle not being able to settle him while everyone else can and it's bullshit.
I have phoned the doctor got gp video apptiment later . Joining a Facebook group called mum chums . And also download penut which is an app for mum's.
I just feel week asking for help I should be able to do this . I want to succeed I was never a good enougth daughter so I want to be able to show people I can do something right especially my perents show them I can be a good mum and I was good for something's . I see my partner with his kids and then him with hunter and it's like why can't I be like that why am I breaking down x getting mad at the baby when he won't stop crying telling him to shut up and then feel shit after and then feel like I can't do this I'm a horrible person .
Should I get consuling like am I not doing it right or am I just failing