Birth trauma 3 years on...

[SpringSunshine09]

Three years ago my first child was born, I won't go into too much detail but they were born unexpectedly very poorly and my DH and I had to see, hear and experience things that were very traumatic. The kinds of things you worry about but never think they will actually happen.

I have suffered PTSD and a lot of general anxiety, health anxiety and intrusive thoughts since. I always think something terrible is going to happen to me or my family and picture different things happening several times a day. I have found it really tricky to move on

could you get some counselling to work through it?

there is a very good book called ‘overcoming, unwanted intrusive thoughts’ and it’s very good, it might really help you. All the best.

Sorry posted too soon. I was just wondering if it's normal to still feel very impacted by something like this three years on? I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience and feels this way? I can't seem to settle back into work or function as I did before. It really ruined my second pregnancy and birth experience too and I can't watch anything to do with birth without getting panicky and upset. Just looking for people to relate to I think.

So sorry you feel like this OP. It is not unusual unfortunately, but it is treatable. Have you tried EMDR therapy or trauma focused CBT? You might also find the Birth Trauma Association and Make Birth Better websites helpful.

I felt like you do, for many years after the birth of my son. We both nearly died when he was born in an emergency 9 weeks early. Just seeing a pregnant woman for years after that use to make me feel physically sick. I had CBT, which helped me learn coping strategies. However, it wasn’t that simple as I’m sure you probably know yourself. It did get easier as he became older and more independent. I was so paranoid and anxious all the time. I’ve just deleted what I was going to say as I am aware that me describing my paranoid intrusive thoughts could trigger you and I don’t want to do that. Counseling and talking to my family helped me. I find now that I have to take control of the narrative playing out in my head and not allow myself to indulge the scenarios that pop into my head if I can’t halt them I try to change them. I hope you find the help you need x

DS is 12 and I still feel like this sometimes. I've had counselling which helped but for me that trauma is something that still affects me even now. It doesn't help that I've had a few other traumas along the way as well. The counsellor described it as a big bruise that keeps getting knocked. If you get a little knock on unbruised skin it doesn't really hurt, but if you get a little knock in a bruise it is very painful.

I echo what @cardboardbox24 says about the Birth Trauma Association. I'm a volunteer with them and our peer supporters are fantastic as well as the closed/private FB group. We've helped a lot of women and we'd be happy to help you too. I see you and I hope you feel stronger soon

Thanks so much for your replies and for the advice. Sorry to those who have experienced similar too 💕. I have had some therapy which has helped to a certain degree but I wonder whether I haven't found the right type of therapy as of yet, so will keep working on it. It is a strange feeling - we were very lucky in the end and our little one eventually made a full recovery - so I think I'm hard on myself for still being so impacted by it - if that makes sense? But it just really dawned on me this evening how much it is still there.