Worried about a friend

[baby2due]

My friend had a baby 2 weeks ago and no one has been allowed up to visit her or the baby. I have tried calling her but don't get an answer. She will eventually reply to messages but not straight away. I know she will be busy with the baby but she was born about 2 weeks ago now and no one has been able to visit.

I have been checking in via message without being pushy or trying to be annoying as I know she'll have her hands full. Today I basically said 'can't wait to come over for a catch up with you and see the baby' She replied saying 'I should probably start seeing people soon'

I have messaged my other friends and asked if they've spoken to her or been to visit and they've also just been told that they'll be invited over soon.

Could this be post natal depression or not wanting to share the baby? I'm just a little concerned about her and hoping she's okay but as I said I don't want to be too pushy. Even her mum and siblings haven't been allowed over to visit or to help out or give her a break

Has she got a husband?

I didn't have any visitors for DS2. Found it too stressful first time around. My parents didn't meet him until he was 5 weeks old. Some of my friends still haven't met him 5 months later.

I find people in my house draining and would much rather meet in a mutual venue where I can leave when I like.

Does she have baby's father there to help?

@Quitelikeit and @silkypillows thanks for replying. She does live with her partner so I do understand that he is probably helping out but she hasn't left the house. She doesn't seem to want anyone to visit but also isn't going out anywhere to visit anyone. It just seems a bit odd and not like her. This is her second child. The first is in primary 7. I have told her that I'm around if she needs help with anything like the school run, shopping or cleaning. She won't even return calls at the moment so I'm just a bit worried she's isolating herself and the baby.

I didn't start seeing friends until after two weeks, mostly because my stitches were really sore and I wanted to enjoy their visits rather than endure them.
I did have my parents to visit straight away though. But they're helpful and no bother. Might your friends mum be a bit difficult? Even if she isn't, your friends probably just in the newborn bubble that's all.
Unless there's a backstory of controlling husband, I'd assume she is fine for now, but just be aware, and text every few days enquiring after her but not putting pressure on her to let you visit.

This is totally normal, she might have medical issues or may be just enjoying the peace. My grandmother's generation stayed in hospital for 2 weeks after the birth to recover, that was standard practice.

Let her know you're keen to see her but only when she's ready. If she's still not been out in a few weeks that's more unusual.

Two weeks? Come on. After two weeks the last thing on your mind is wanting to entertain guests. The beginning is a little surreal and she's probably still coming to terms that shes just given birth to a human. Give her some space, she'll invite you when shes ready.

@Fieldofflowers22 Yeah I get that but it's just out of character, especially since her own mum hasn't even been allowed round for a cuppa and the fact she's not even accepting phone calls. Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive. I'm 29 weeks pregnant myself with my second.

To be honest I didn't want to see anyone for a while after my baby was born, but perhaps you could drop her off a little care package at the front door to let her know you're there when she's ready. That's what I would do anyway

I think everyone copes differently in those early weeks. Some love a stream of visitors. Personally at the two week mark I was still shell shocked, still in a lot of pain from the birth, desperately trying to establish breastfeeding and stressed to hell about baby's weight loss. I certainly wasn't chatting to people on the phone. It was about 12 weeks before I felt back to my usual self! I didn't have PND.

Just keep checking in.

After 2 weeks on all 3 of my pregnancies I was just about coming to. Nobody put pressure on me to call. Would find it strange to be honest. This is a huge moment in her life. She is healing, not sleeping, probably trying to get a feeding routine and is probably emotional and sore. Also a lovely happy precious time too. I was very cautious about having visitors with covid around this time. After a few weeks I was back communicating with people again.

Thanks for the replies. As I said, I'm maybe just being overly sensitive as I'm pregnant myself

I had a very prolonged recovery and didnt want to see anyone for a few weeks.
My mother met baby 5 days after birth because I needed my mum as I wasnt having a great time.
Inlaws met baby after 3 weeks.
Other relatives about 4 weeks.
Baby is 4 months old and some family and friends still havent come round (their choice/work commitments).

Everyone takes to motherhood and recovers differently.
Some people cannot wait to show their baby off. Others cherish some private time to get feeding established and get settled.
The first few weeks are bloody hard.
Im sure she will allow visits when she is good and ready.

I am 8 weeks postpartum and really didn't want visitors. I hated having all the visitors with first DD and everyone's wanting to hold the baby like they're a doll. When PIL came over they were taking pictures of me without my consent. I absolutely hate it. Just leave her alone.

Its hard to say OP. Is your friend close with her mum? 2