Baby breathing fast - anxiety is through the roof!

[bethabean]

As all babies, my baby (17 days old) breathes rapidly. The problem is, it's making me really really panic which is stopping me from sleeping
When I put her down to sleep, she breathes so loud and so fast. It's been worse the past couple of nights and last night we even called 111 and went to A&E today to have her checked. Her obs came back fine, but I can't help but think 'what if they were fine then but somethings wrong now'
I should probably mention that I have anxiety and OCD in the form of intrusive thoughts anyway, but since having my baby the anxiety has been far far far worse. I am on medication for this but it's not enough.
I can't sleep. I'm so terrified of her dying in the night. I'm constantly checking her to make sure she's breathing. I think about what I'd do if something ever did happen to herI couldn't go on.

Is this normal for mums? My partner seems so relaxed about it and I'm absolutely terrified! She's my whole world and I'm just an anxious mess who can't sleep because it's so scary. This is definitely harder than childbirth and any other part of parenting so far for me

It's not exactly normal to have anxiety through the roof, but it's understandable. You're a new mother and your baby is precious to you.

This anxiety isn't going to help you or stop anything bad from happening. You have done the right thing and had your little one checked over. You are there taking care of your child and being a good parent. If this anxiety continues over a longer period of time it would be worth getting some more help so that you can relax more and enjoy this time with your baby. Try to get some rest

Everything optimistic40 said and more. You've done all the right things, she's been checked and the doctors are happy. Try and rest, she'll be awake again before you know looking for another feed

Would something like the owlet sock help your anxiety? It measures heart rate and blood oxygen levels and will alert you if either of these drop to a dangerous level so it might take away the need to constantly check on her so you can get some rest?

I would recommend something like the snuza Hero, I wouldn’t have been able to sleep without it. Occasional false alarm but I would rather that than waking to check my babies 16 times a night.

@bethabean

As all babies, my baby (17 days old) breathes rapidly. The problem is, it's making me really really panic which is stopping me from sleeping When I put her down to sleep, she breathes so loud and so fast. It's been worse the past couple of nights and last night we even called 111 and went to A&E today to have her checked. Her obs came back fine, but I can't help but think 'what if they were fine then but somethings wrong now' I should probably mention that I have anxiety and OCD in the form of intrusive thoughts anyway, but since having my baby the anxiety has been far far far worse. I am on medication for this but it's not enough. I can't sleep. I'm so terrified of her dying in the night. I'm constantly checking her to make sure she's breathing. I think about what I'd do if something ever did happen to herI couldn't go on.

Is this normal for mums? My partner seems so relaxed about it and I'm absolutely terrified! She's my whole world and I'm just an anxious mess who can't sleep because it's so scary. This is definitely harder than childbirth and any other part of parenting so far for me

Oh @bethabean it’s so hard isn’t it? I don’t suffer with anxiety or OCD and I spent at least the first month checking my son CONSTANTLY and like yours, my partner was much more relaxed. It’s natural to worry. Baby has spend the last 9 months safe in your belly where you could feel their movements etc, now suddenly they’re out in the world and they seem so fragile!

Focus on the facts if you can. You were unsure about the rapid breathing - so you had it checked by professionals, which is absolutely the right thing to do. Is baby sleeping in the safest environment they can be in? In your room, in a bedside crib or Moses basket, no loose sheets or covers, no sleepyheads etc in the crib? Follow the guidelines for safe sleep set out by the Lullaby Trust. If you’re doing that then your baby is as safe as they can be ❤️

Have you need signed off by the midwife and met your Health Visitor yet? Have a chat to her about how you’re feeling. She’s there for you and baby for anything you need! I hope you’re managing to get some rest I’m sure it won’t be long before baby wants more milk

Could your partner sleep in the room with the baby, and you sleep in a separate room? I’m sure you’d still hear the baby cry at feeding time, but you couldn’t listen compulsively to the baby’s breathing in the same way and that might help you relax.

Babies’ breathing is BIZARRE!!! It took me a few weeks to calm down about it too!

It’s normal in the sense that lots of women experience this. It’s not normal in the sense that you have to (or should) accept it.

You’ve done so well to recognise that you are experiencing MH difficulties and to seek medical attention. Keep going back to your GP if you feel the current medication and support is not cutting it.

I had very similar issues after my first baby arrived but I didn’t recognise that I was poorly. I struggled for years and I only realised how ill I’d been when I started to get better. I wish I’d been able to access help because it would have transformed my life.

I had postnatal anxiety so completely understand where you are coming from, I would have panic attacks if I slept in the same room as my baby so DH slept in the room with her and I slept on the sofa. Would it calm you to count her breathing rate yourself? Anything up to 60 breaths per minute is completely normal, they breath a lot faster than us. Sending unmumsnetty hugs.

I too had postnatal anxiety with my first baby and would stay up all night watching the baby sleep. We did get an Owlet and it gave me peace of mind and helped me to sleep. My husband also moved to the side of the bed nearest the baby and this helped too as I was less tempted to get up and go to other side of the room to check on him. The first few weeks with a new baby are really hard and the responsibility can be overwhelming and scary. I didn't think I would ever feel normal again but here I am almost 2 years later and I feel so much better.

I would also speak to your GP, maybe they can adjust your medication and refer you to a therapist.

Good luck!

We just got home from NICU 3 days ago and we’ve been using the Snuza hero. It’s been fab and allows me to actually get some rest rather than always be checking on him.

I could have written this post myself when my oldest was born! She’s almost 15 now!

I didn’t sleep properly for the first 12 months - and not because of the night walking but because I was convinced she’d stop breathing in the night.

When we had DD2 I realised I could not go on like that so we bought an Angel alarm. Now I’m sure it’s trslly outdated now but equally sure there must be something similar on the market.

It really gave me chance to sleep and that in turn reduced my anxiety (you will find that lack of sleep increases your anxiety tendandcies).

Good luck! And congratulations on your baby!

I second the snuza hero. Our LO is 3 months now and we still use it. Prior to that I was sleeping propped up on pillows with my glasses on checking her breathing constantly!
When they are very little up to 60 breaths a minute is normal, and not regular so they can do several very rapid then stop for a few seconds. It does start to regulate in weeks to come so sounds less worrying!