Tell me about your experiences of PND please

[Mummyof287]

What was/is it like for you?

I have been experiencing the following pretty much since baby was born in October

• Days where I feel mentally drained/flat/irritable from waking up...no ability to cope with anything (everything feels like a massive problem) and no morivation to interact with anyone much, go out or play with DD.These are mixed with days however where i feel really positive, motivated and like i can tolerate things much more easily (such as 4yo DDs challenging behaviour or doing housework

-Sometimes the stress of baby crying alot/needing to be held constantly (she is generally quite a happy baby but obviously has times of upset or neediness) or DD not listening makes me feel like I just can't cope and asif I want to run away from it all/bury myself in a hole and I start feeling angry so have to distance myself for a short time or I can end up losing my temper with 4yo or using a slightly stressy voice with baby.

• DH irritates me constantly...even if he hasn't really done anything particularly wrong and I overreact to anything he says that could be interpreted as slightly negative and make me really annoyed.

-Feel drained or lethargic even after a decent night's sleep (not really sleep deprived as baby is a pretty good sleeper doing solid stretches of 5-8hrs and usually only waking once)

• Heart palpitations and light headedness especially when stressed
• Feel on the verge of crying...often!
• Feel really trapped, mainly because I can't really leave baby much because she can't take a bottle or be comforted by anyone else (this affected my mental health alot last time with DD1 too)

I have been sure for awhile i have PMDD...my MH was uusually fairly stable during my pregnancies as there were no periods, and these still haven't returned but I am unsure if the hormones of breastfeeding affect it negatively and its that thats causing issues now, as the symptoms are similar.

I'm reluctant to go on antidepressants as I did once take fluoxetine for afew days when DD1 was a toddler and it caused me awful side affects and also DH had a horrendous time on them last year after just one day.Side affects that stopped us being able to function normally to drive/care for children etc.
Plus don't want to stop breastfeeding but worry about the affects of such medications on baby.
But I really don't want to continue like this either!

For background, I had postnatal mental health problems after older DD, but it was more anxiety than depression really.
My dad died in November which I'm still very much affected by at times, and my best friend of 30 years also has breast cancer atm,which is be upsetting to see her going through that at only 33 years old.

So i don't know if it's the strains and stresses of life events and being a parent to two young children causing me to feel so up and down, or whether it's PND.

Experiences would be much appreciated...

Could be? Doesn't hurt to have a chat with a gp. The one I spoke to was really sympathetic. Doesn't matter if it's pnd or 'regular' depression - it's worth trying to make your life better.

I don't know if mine's pnd, ocd or anxiety, but I have days where I don't recognise myself, where I HATE who I am, and days that are 100% fine and 'normal'.

I'm on day 2 of taking paroxetine. Feeling really spaced out. I think sertraline and then paroxetine are seen as 'first lines of treatment' while breastfeeding. I'm told any side effects of starting ADs last max a couple of weeks. I've previously taken fluoxetine and found that to be the case. But I previously tried sertraline and stopped after a few days. Honestly the migraine wasn't worth it... but if you can tolerate the side effects, they don't last.

Meds aren't for everyone and they aren't the only line of treatment/ way to make yourself feel more normal. They're one tool.

You can also self refer to IAPT in your area to get on the list for talk therapies. They may refer you to perinatal mental health.

I've been in a similar situation (and still am really), with general stresses of baby and toddler, recent bereavements and ongoing stressful family situation. My youngest is 2 now. I was reluctant to take ADs because I've never really thought I was depressed, just struggling with difficult circumstances. Although I still wonder if I should have and sometimes still think I should give them a try when bad patches happen. I did start taking st John's wort once my little one wasn't breast feeding much, and I find it gives me a bit more stability. I'm trying some councelling at the moment - I'm finding it helpful for a few difficult unresolved issues, but I'm not sure it does much for general irritability and feeling fed-up. I hope you can find something that works for you and sorry I can't offer more advice.

Thanks so much to both of you for your helpful replies! This week has generally been better since the day last week when I wrote the post on here, however I have felt abit unmotivated and stressed today, and I'm thinking of speaking to the GP as the funny feelings in my chest and light-headedness are still continuing (even though they did an ECG and couldn't identify anything concerning)
Baby is becoming increasingly more settled for longer periods sleeping or investigating toys etc, which has helped me have abit more time, but i do feel like there is always so much to be done and to think about with housework etc, it really gets on top of me not being able to keep on top of everything.Also nearly 5yo DD's behaviour is so challenging at times, plus DH and me argue a fair bit.So I do wonder if its more life stresses than PND really- my tolerance and patience feel like they've worn so thin!

Sorry to hear you're struggling. I was diagnosed with PND a few weeks ago and dizziness and chest pain/pressure was something I suffered with very early on. I was convinced something was wrong, had lots of tests etc and all fine. Have now started some medication and the chest pain has gone and the dizziness almost nearly gone now unless I feel really overwhelmed. I've found the most important thing is talking about how you feel, saying things out loud helps recognise the feelings and also that this is not forever, its just a season, things will get better x