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Postnatal health

Exclusive breastfeeding second baby

11 replies

firehaven · 10/01/2022 13:58

I've had my second baby over 3 weeks ago. I also have a two year old. I breastfed exclusively my first one until 3months then mixed fed until 6months. I find breast feeding extremely hard. When I'm rested and feel good mentally I don't mind it, the problem starts when I'm tired, or when baby is fussing at the breast or cluster feeding.
Im finding it even harder the second time. Some days I'm basically glued to the sofa feeding, while my 2yr old is getting jealous, making a lot of mess trying to get attention, tantrums are more often occurrence too. I don't think I can do it anymore, ive already fed her some bottles or my husband did while I was sleeping. I express sometimes and even feeding her that, knowing how much exactly she had puts my mind at rest. I know she feeds a lot for comfort, she is in 98th percentile for weight. I feel guilty denying her that comfort but at the same time I'm exhausted and miserable. Anyone had been in similar situation?

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Tyrionsbitch · 10/01/2022 14:03

Same situation here! I exclusively breastfed my first and am already mix feeding my second, though currently bottle feeding at night and bf in the day. I keep thinking it will just be easier and kinder on my 3 year old to just bottle feed full time but for some reason I just can't seem to take that step as I just feel guilty for my baby

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Dairyfairie · 10/01/2022 14:03

Yes.My second is exclusively breastfed, except when I can’t face it for some reason - exhaustion, need to go out, pain etc. Fortunately, she takes a bottle of formula (I was adamant, this time, that I would not get involved with expressing).

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ShowOfHands · 10/01/2022 14:04

I found it easier feeding my second for a couple of reasons. I was fortunate that my eldest started school 4 days after her brother was born so I had space and time. That really helped. Does your 2yr old go to nursery at all or have time with other adults so you can concentrate on the baby and they're getting some positive one on one time. I also learned to feed the baby while in a sling and this meant I had my hands free to read with, cook with, play with etc my other child.

There are lots of things you could do to make it easier to exclusively breastfeed BUT do you want to try them or do you want permission to mix feed or formula feed? Because if you do, then I say do what you need and want to do. If you want to pursue exclusive bfing, there are things which might help but I won't list them all in case what you actually want to know is that it's okay to do things differently.

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newyearsresolurion · 11/01/2022 12:20

Same here!!3 weeks too. I've started to mix feed just can't do it exclusively anymore. I've had no sleep last night.Making formula right now

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firehaven · 11/01/2022 21:26

@newyearsresolurion

Same here!!3 weeks too. I've started to mix feed just can't do it exclusively anymore. I've had no sleep last night.Making formula right now

Thanks it's good to know I'm not alone. Hope it works for you all x
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Littlegreenfrogcake · 11/01/2022 21:33

My first was ebf for 10 months, my second was ebf for a month and then mixed fed until 6 months and I put her straight onto formula. I was by then a single parent and I just couldn't sustain cluster feeding right at bedtime and the broken sleep and exhaustion. The second is just about to turn 1, and I've noticed zero difference in development or bonding or anything you'll be worrying about. Do what works for you now, its rough going!

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4pmwinetimebebeh · 11/01/2022 21:38

It’s different the second time round- first time it’s all about what’s best for baby and second time it’s about what’s best for your family. I couldn’t bf DC1 and only managed 11 weeks bf DC2 not due to issues but just due to wanting to be able to spend time with DC1 and not be stuck feeding for hours/on and off constantly. Whatever you decide feel no guilt- you’re doing a great job Flowers.

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SBAM · 11/01/2022 21:42

Mixed feeding isn’t a bad thing! I feel like midwives ought to promote it as a sensible option, baby is still getting your antibodies and you’re getting the benefits of occasional breaks/extra sleep and the improvement this has on your sanity.

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Merrz · 11/01/2022 22:02

My 2nd baby is 3 months old, ebf baby no 1 until 16 months and found it really easy from day 1. 100% feel your pain, it's so tough with no 2. I cried everyday for the first 6 weeks because it was so hard, I felt so much guilt for my daughter who's 2.5, I was constantly fobbing her off or sitting her in front of kids you tube and didn't enjoy those long cluster feeding cuddles like I did with no 1. I also got really badly cracked nipples, I think because i was always trying to do stuff while I was feeding so mucking up babies latch Confused so feeding was agony. It definitely takes off the pressure if you can give a bottle and I just gave formula, couldn't be bothered expressing just seemed like wasting time I didn't have. I was so close to giving up bf all together and don't think there's anything wrong with it if you do but I'm glad now that I didn't. 7 weeks was a massive turning point for us. It's f***g hard though, if you feel like bottle is the way forward do not feel bad for it

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firehaven · 12/01/2022 06:45

Thanks for everyone's kind replies, it's really reassuring. I just couldn't handle all the spitting up with the breast. I've no problem with latch or her weight but I did notice bad reflux in the last few days. So changing her couple of
Times a night, changing my clothes and bed sheets. I decided giving her formula yesterday, she was fine, one expressed breast milk feed she was sick twice and cried for an hour. I don't know if it's something I'm eating, I honestly can't be bothered trying to figure it out with my diet etc. DD1 had reflux too but I persisted giving her breast milk until 6months, tried changing diet, had gaviscon infant with gave her bad constipation etc. this time I'm just too exhausted, I agree this time is about what's best for the family, and I noticed today I was a lot calmer and the baby was too.

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Catherine1210 · 13/01/2022 03:21

Same, you’ve done better than me! I breast fed my first baby, 14 months later I had my second, the day my Mother-in-law dropped my older baby back home after staying with her, I lasted hours breastfeeding with another baby to look after. So in total breast fed him for 3 days before switching to formula. No regrets here I use a good quality formula- Kendamil. I had to make the choice sk it didn’t negatively impact my older sons life, if I had a baby cluster feeding on me all day, I would not have the time to look after my older son. It’s a nice relief knowing my partner can help with feeds too. Baby is happy and in future photos I won’t be able to tell which one was breastfed as I’ll have two happy boys just like I do now! :)

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