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Postnatal health

As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

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Original poster

Recovery with a toddler

7 replies

Mamabear04 · 09/01/2022 07:44

I was wondering if you could tell me your experiences of recovering from birth with a toddler?
I'm expecting my 2nd baby in the July when my DD will be 2yo old (2years 8 months to be exact). DD is a pretty easy toddler (as far as they go) but I'm just very worried about looking after her while recovering from the birth. 1st time around I had an emergency c-section because she was breech and I found the recovery very difficult. I'm a very active person and when I was told to get up and walk around, that's exactly what I did...far far too much. I think I looked at it as an injury rather than recovering from major surgery. I think I did too much and ended up having to rely on other people for longer. I also lived in a 1st floor flat and couldn't carry the pram downstairs to go for walks and could only go out with help for the first 3 months. We've since moved to a house and I'm worried that if I were to have another c-section that it will be agony walking up the stairs to go to the toilet, about not being able to lift my toddler or bend to help her use the potty or her not being able to sit on my knee for a cuddle. I've no idea what a vaginally birth is like or what the recovery is like but I think I would like to try for it this time round. Can you tell me your experiences warts and all? Both what recovering from a vaginally delivery is like and what it's like looking after a toddler post c-section.
My DH is very supportive and will help as much as he is physically able to. My parents also helped A LOT first time round when DH had to go back to work. I absolutely adore them all and am so thankful for their help but last time it made getting into a routine with DD very difficult and I found the lack or independence really hard so would really like to establish the new normal (whatever that may be) sooner rather than later...

OP posts:

ineedakip · 09/01/2022 07:48

I had a vaginal delivery. I was up on my feet straight away, although a little wobbly as I had an epidural. I did have a tear which meant I was quite sore for 10 days or so but I was still able to lift the pram etc just had to sit down carefully!!

Twizbe · 09/01/2022 07:49

I have 2 years between mine. I had vaginal deliveries with both. My second birth was so easy and beautiful. No stitches either which helped loads. She also fed like a dream so my recovery was actually a lot easier.

We took the kids to a birthday party when baby was a few days old and I was doing the nursery run at a week old.

I found keeping the eldest in nursery was the biggest help. It forced a routine and gave me time with just baby.

Dogsandbabies · 09/01/2022 07:57

I had my third a few months ago. My DS was 2yrs exactly (and an absolute menace).

I had a c-section, and it was fine. I explained to him that I couldn't lift him and he climbed next to me, brought me books and helped out.

I did transition him to a toddler bed before I had the baby so I could do bedtime and ask my partners help where needed, like to put him in and out of the bath.

I recovered well and at two weeks pp I was able to take him out to playgroups and the library.

grey12 · 09/01/2022 08:22

3 vaginal births (tbh the first was the worst labour and recovery). After all them I could walk but slowly.

With the older siblings I would sit a lot having them on my lap was not painful or problematic at all. So for the first days I avoided picking them up but gave them lots of cuddles in the sofa. For the toilet (they always used the insert in the big toilet) they have a children's chair so they can climb by themselves

YukoandHiro · 09/01/2022 08:26

My recovery second time was so much easier, but I had a much easier birth and much shorter Labour both of which helped.

Will your DH be able to take a while off work to help? Mine was off for a month just in case but actually he didn't need to be the second time

Original poster

Mamabear04 · 09/01/2022 22:08

@YukoandHiro I think my DH can take 2 weeks paternity leave and maybe more in annual leave if I end up having to have a c-section so that would help a lot

Thanks for all your replies everyone, I really appreciate them! It sounds like the recovery from vag births seem way easier and quicker (although I'm well aware actually giving birth is probably horrendous at the time). It's interesting to hear that with a lot of you you 2nd one seems to be easier and faster. I spoke with my midwife a little and she said that often it's the case that once they see your scar when your in labour they're less likely to keep trying for a vag birth and push for a section. A vag birth honestly feels a little like it will be my first because I have no idea what to expect. With my DD my contractions started at 5am and I didn't end up getting a section until after 10pm (I think I was only 6cm dilated) so I feel OK with that side of things but actually pushing the baby out.....no idea what to expect!!!!

OP posts:

grey12 · 10/01/2022 07:38

My first birth was horrendous but going into the second the thing that I really dreaded was going through the contractions again the pushing is bad but the contractions you are more in control and remember it better.... I had 2 episiotomies and one tear, didn't feel them at all I got so lost in the pushing, you just want to be done with it. Pushing during the contraction is doing something and it feels more productive than the previous contractions, when you push I felt it was almost like it relieved the contraction don't know how to explain.....

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