Feeling sad and overwhelmed when i dont breastfeed and cant ask for help

[SunnySide1992]

Hey everyone so my beautiful little girl is 3 1/2 weeks today. I had a very straight forward birth. Ive been on and off with breastfeeding as found it very difficult and then got really bad mastitis but i didbt give up. Now she loves it and latches on so easy! But im still having times where i just burst into tears, i think its when im over tired. DH abd family offer to take night shifts so i can catch up in sleep but then i feel so awful that i cant be there to breastfeed her. I nake sure theres ebough expressed milk in bottles and havr formula as back up but is this all normal? I feel like im letting her down

Your job it to provide food for that beautiful baby, your child doesn't care if it is breast or tin. She just wants feeding.
So stop stressing and tell that guilt in your head to do one.
Enjoy these days, the smell of your baby, and the sounds they make....
Tell anyone who tries to shame you "So I let her Starve .!!!!!!"

Thanks @bollindger =) i cant explain the feeling and why i feel guilty, i guess i just love that im able to give her food and feel guilty when i cant cos im too tired!

How you are feeling sounds normal to me.

Do you want people to take the baby for the night or want her with you? Are you getting more sleep that way? If you aren't please say no - there are other things family can do to help.

I found when my baby was that small I could only sleep when my baby with me so well meaning people taking him just left me awake worrying about him ...

When I had my child 2 decades ago, the woman in the bed oppersite was Crying over not being able to feed her child, I Shouted at the nurse, demand they fetch a bottle and let that poor baby be fed.
The mum tried and it was just never easy for her. I told her the same as I said above.
I saw her 5 years later, she had stood up for what her child needed, had 2 more and they both were OK on breast feed.
Do not get sucked into only breast will do. Your sanity if far more important to your child. Be the mama bear your child needs.

If you want to feed her overnight (which may help your emotions and hormones settle) then can your DH hold her then bring her to you for the feeds and take her straight after so you only need to wake for that little bit?

When she’s a bit bigger you’ll be able to feed her lying down at night and it’ll feel much easier.

The only reason I’d suggest feeding her overnight is that’s when your milk production is highest so by baby girl feeding then she is boosting your milk supply. Breastfeeding also releases sleepy hormones for both mum and baby so could help you both settle to sleep quicker and for longer.

Whatever you decide don’t feel guilty. You are doing your best for baby and it’s such early days. Look after yourself, drop your standards and accept all offers of help.

When I had my first, I tried so hard to breastfeed but it just didn’t work for us. Like you I had awful mastitis but also an unhelpful and unsympathetic husband (now ex). The moment I made the decision to bottle feed was like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders and my DS was a much happier boy. I went on to have 2 more babies and bottle fed both of them from the start and it was wonderful. It’s about you and your child and what works for you and nothing else. My 3 are all now strapping young men who were in no way disadvantaged by my choices in those early days. Give yourself a break

Thankyou all for your advice =) i just got 4 hours sleep and feel amazing haha! Came down to see little miss and she wasnt settling DH gave her plenty of bottles but offer her breast then 5 minutes later shrs sound asleep! Has anyone got any tips how to get newborns to sleep in a different room? She only settles downstairs? She sleeps in her moses basket upstairs and downstaors but still doesnt like it upstairs?