Feeling down

[MrsSugar]

My baby will be 5 weeks on Monday. He absolutely will not settle in any cot we have tried. He will literally scream the place down until he is held. My husband and I have now taken it in turns to sleep downstairs holding him n the other gets a proper sleep in bed and we swap over early hours of morning . The tiredness is unreal. I’m worried sick about SIDS. Today has has Awful I’ve cried on and off all day. I’m not feeling well. I’ve already been on fluoxetine for Almost 2 years but due to the worry I am having awful thoughts of something happening to my baby and then I think if something did happen I’d just kill myself… I know these are intrusive thought but Just wondering if anyone has any tips or advice ?

You poor thing I can relate to so much of this. The first few weeks are a matter of survival. It's easy for me to say now on the other side of it but you will get through it. As for SIDS I was absolutely TERRIFIED that my daughter would die in the night. I got a nappy clip breathing monitor that helped me calm down a bit. It's a really common worry so you're not alone. It's scary!

My HV advised that planned co-sleeping was safer than unplanned so on bad nights I brought my daughter into bed with me and she slept like that. Sometimes these are just phases and then they come out of it. Just do what you need to do, provide a safe sleep environment in whatever way works for you and don't worry about bad habits. Your baby is tiny and the habits won't form just yet.

It's good that your recognising that you have a low mood. If you're worried, call you HV or GP and see if there's anything they can do to help. I found Sertraline helped me and it's safe for breastfeeding (if that's how you're feeding) 😊

Thanks so much for your reply ❤️
That’s good to know about the planned cosleeping. We might give that a try. Also good to know other folk have been the same. I feel ppl can be really judgy about cosleeping. Il keep a close eye to my mood and contact the GP if I feel it’s worsening xxx

It's easy to be judgemental on a full night's sleep or when you have a dream baby that doesn't need you to hold them. Nobody is coming to your house to help you at 4am so you have to do what's right for you within safe limits.

Unfortunately people will judge your parenting regardless! Try not to let it bother you. I hope you get some better sleep soon 😊