Mum guilt - over sleeping/relaxing/me time when baby sleeps

[GT18]

Hello
I have just had a little boy 3 weeks ago who has absolutly changed my life for the better and is bringing such joy to our lives.

However im feeling a little guilty. I am a natural born worrier but as it stands i can just about eat sleep change and repeat . I wake with great intentions to get up and go for a walk or go here and there but im finding it difficult to motivate myself.

My hubby is greatly supportive and always identifies the day/nights that may of been a little more testing (hes currentky working from home) and will say "leave the ironing and get your head down while the baby sleeps" however ive always been such a busy bee it really doesn't sit comfortably with me and i feel guilty about silly mundane things?!

Am i normal?

Anyone else felt like this?

How have you overcame the guilt and thought "sod it im taking a nap or a bath"?

Thanks in advanve

You're a new mum. You need your rest and jk glad your partner is supportive.

When they're so young, these things can wait. So there is a few dishes. Clothes to be ironed. You can come back to that whenever. You won't get the baby days back and my gosh they go so fast.

Soak it all in. Get rest when your baby rests and enjoy your newborn without the guilt. You have nothing to be guilty about!

I'm*

You need to look after yourself to be able to look after your baby.
You are a priority over ironing or dirty dishes. It is not indulgent or selfish to have a nap/bath/whatever you need to feel refreshed.

Congratulations on your new baby, enjoy those baby days guilt free.

Are you sure it's guilt - after I gave birth I think I was in a bit of a state of shock for a while, where I felt really on edge all the time and unable to relax even when baby was asleep. It is a massive change suddenly being responsible for a small baby! Plus I'm not a napper, so could never dream of dropping off to sleep when the baby slept. Don't beat yourself up for something that a) may not be guilt and b) is completely normal. Maybe just have a sit down with a hot drink - force yourself to remember it is still ok to have a moment to yourself

You can't poor from an empty vessel.

Now is the time to be taking care of you, so you can take care of your baby.

Everything else can and should wait.

Appreciate your helpful husband and don't be afraid to leave housework to him.

Enjoy this time basking in the amazement of what your body can do. Sleep as much as you can. Do what you need to do.

What do you need to iron if you have a baby, your DH works for home and you're on mat leave?

In all seriousness, get used to putting yourself first now. Otherwise you will send the message to your child that your needs don't matter and be wondering why he never calls you in 40 years time.

O used to sleep in with my DS until like 11am!
I did go for an afternoon walk but I really didn't do much.
My husband did not expect me to do any housework whilst he was at work
We just managed as and when we could

But what the hell are you ironing?! I don't even know where my iron is! Once you stop doing it you realise clothes are not as crumpled as you may think. Hang outside or briefly into the tumble dryer. Husband work shirts? He can do those X

Thank you 💙ive needed to hear everyone of your messages today 🙏i apprciate the honesty! Somtimes you need a good talking too!

Been there! With my first I felt exactly the same. I spent all of her naps (when not in me) tearing round the house cleaning etc.. and you know what? Nobody noticed. Nobody cared except me. There's something to be said for the sense of achievement for getting the jobs done but it's too early to be worrying about that. I am not a natural napper but with my second thus time around I promised myself I would try and rest more. I'm not going to lie, I made myself ill worrying about the dishes, the washing, the cleaning when now I know it made little difference and I would have much healthier for learning to leave things a wee while.
Make sure you put yourself first above any chores, especially of you've had a bad night of it.

Thank you so very much! Its good to know im not the only one that has felt or is feeling this way ! If i was an outsider looking in id be saying everything you all have tp me today!! I need to stop the worry and think about me and my beautiful baby boy first!

Exactly! Congratulations and just enjoy this time, it really passes very quickly and when you are older you won't be thinking "I wish I did the housework" you will think "I'm glad I relaxed and enjoyed my baby". :) X