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Postnatal health

As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

Mental health decline

3 replies

Mumoftwo1990 · 19/09/2021 19:32

Hi everyone,
I don't know where to start but essentially i feel like having children has destroyed my mental health. One minute I just need them out of my hair and then the next I want them around because I don't want to not be there for them. I'm on anti depressants at the moment and had some CBT which helped somewhat. I have also been put on an anti epileptic drug which has side effects of course. But I started to cry walking home from dropping my kids off at my mums, I was wondering how exactly I would commit suicide and if it was something I could go through with (it isn't once I took a breather, showered, ate etc).
I'm just wondering if having children has ruined my life or mental health forever, which I would never say out loud.
Has anyone else been through this?

OP posts:
hufffflufff · 19/09/2021 19:37

yes OP I sympathise. do you have much support? It can take time to feel better but slowly each day becomes a bit easier after you're through the first few years. how old are your kids?

You need to find time for yourself. Easier said than done I know. Find things for you to look forward to do. Try to get hold of any device that will make life a bit easier (tumble dryer, for example).

Also, you might be an introvert. Not in as much as wanting to stay in and be away from other people, but in as much as you need your alone time to reset. Difficult with kids as you are constantly "on duty".

I promise you I feel normal again now, it is much easier.

Please get some MH support from your GP.

Mumoftwo1990 · 20/09/2021 08:32

@hufffflufff

yes OP I sympathise. do you have much support? It can take time to feel better but slowly each day becomes a bit easier after you're through the first few years. how old are your kids?

You need to find time for yourself. Easier said than done I know. Find things for you to look forward to do. Try to get hold of any device that will make life a bit easier (tumble dryer, for example).

Also, you might be an introvert. Not in as much as wanting to stay in and be away from other people, but in as much as you need your alone time to reset. Difficult with kids as you are constantly "on duty".

I promise you I feel normal again now, it is much easier.

Please get some MH support from your GP.

They're almost 2 and I just find I can't switch off, I'm definitely an introvert.

I'm due to speak with my gp soon so I will bring this up.

Thank you xx

OP posts:
hufffflufff · 20/09/2021 09:24

Poor you OP. I was a single parent with no family support nearby so I can totally empathise, I was much the same as you although I only had the one kid!

Let the kids watch TV all morning if they want to. Don't fret about too much TV / screens / whatever. Survival is key at this point.

Occasionally I would drop my kid at my mum's for the weekend (a few hours away) and then come home and just cry for half an hour due to the sheer overwhelm hitting me.

When they start nursery or school it will be a lot easier. Although in some ways the only way out is "through" with little ones. So there will be some tough times but it does get easier.

Another thing I found was to "go with the flow" helps a lot. Don't panic if you're not being a perfect parent, it's nigh on impossible when you have very small children. Just getting through the day is enough! Bribes, TV, snacks all ok! When they are a bit older you can revert to other methods.

Go to bed when the kids do once or twice a week, the early night will help you to reset and feel a bit more normal. I used to fight and try to get my alone time in the evenings but it led to sheer exhaustion which was worse!!

Make sure you leave the house with them at least once a day. A walk can do you all wonders especially if things are getting fraught.

Best of luck Op, make sure to get one or two things in the diary for you - a swim and sauna or something, anything that's a break from home with something relaxing to do. xx

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