Hi all
I've posted a few times on here about my postnatal health and I wanted to update/share/give hope to anyone suffering the hell of PND/A.
On the ,27th Match I attempted suicide when my son was 6 weeks old..this was my breaking point after weeks and weeks of antenatal and postnatal depression. I convinced myself my kids were better without me, that I was useless at mothering, I didn't 'like' my son and I just didn't want to exist. After the overdose I was then hospitalized.
After discharge I was seen daily by the crisis team, social workers and psychiatrists. I was given medication to relieve anxiety and depression and also sleeping tablets as I'd been suffering with insomnia. This medication took time to get the dose right and stable but it is now a combination that works for me.
4/5 months down the line, I am getting myself back. I'm taking good care of my children on my own whilst my partner has returned to work. I look to the future with hope, instead of it feeling bleak and pointless, and I truly feel I'm well on my way to happiness.
I do not want this post to be a self indulgent "look at how well I've done" post but I want to write what I would have needed to read whilst I was recovering. Some points and thoughts and more recently some actions that have massively helped are
- You WILL recover. Believe it, though it feels neverending, it will improve and your mind will heal in time.
*Simplify your life as much as you can. Remove social media.
*Gather as much support around you and cling to it, take every offer of help and be open to the professionals who are there to help.
*Shower once a day, no matter how hard it seems to be - do it.
*Yoga. A personal one but it has done miracles to my body and mind.
*Eat nutritious food, even if you have no appetite, force yourself to eat little and often.
I want anyone who is struggling with this awful illness to know that things will improve. I am still medicated, I am now under the CMHT and I still have bad days, but there is hope again. I hope this helps someone.