Really struggling

[DazedandConfused135]

Hi, I hope I've posted in the right place. If not please feel free to remove it.

I will try and be brief as well as fitting everything in.

I have a 3 year old and an almost 7 month old. Have had a lot of issues with DC2 that just seem to be never ending and DC1 has decided to skip terrible 2s and replace them with terrible 3s.
I'm due back to work next month and have been having a few issues with one of the woman there constantly moaning and complaining when I've gone for a KIT day. She has messaged on work group chat things aimed at something ive done whilst there (she's making a drama about nothing), no doubt slagged me off to everyone else (she seems to have something bad to say about everyone).

I'm feeling so low as it is and if I could I would not be returning to work. Unfortunately I don't have the option to stay at home and am feeling so awful and upset. She has reduced me to tears today with her latest message on our group chat.

I have had countless of messages over my maternity leave asking when I'm returning and if I can do certain dates for KIT days (which I didn't mind but they were asking 2 days before).

I'm just feeling so very low and am just trying to make my family a priority. But work are making it hard and I just feel like sticking 2 fingers up at them and not returning. I love my job and love what I do, it just the arseholes there making it hard to want to return.

I'm at breaking point with everything going on at home and with now this at work. I just want to cry all the time. I just want to enjoy what time I have left of my mat leave.

I dont know what to do.

Hello @DazedandConfused135

For the colleague to treat you like that, he or she must be a psychopath possibly, making a drama about nothing. I have encountered psychopaths before and what you said is a textbook psychopath, sorry you have to deal with that.

As for the feeling low, I would say speak to your GP but because we are living in a "new" society where it's so hard to get appointments these days and GPs don't want to be face-to-face all of a sudden due to this "pandemic" restriction thing, possibly go to A&E or phone NHS 111.

Take care

I’m so sorry you’re under this pressure right now.

For the KIT days it sounds like you need to keep repeating the message of needing enough warning to be able to plan ahead. They might not realise and just need a bit of “training”. And then obviously don’t feel under any pressure to do them as I agree your time is precious in your last month of mat leave.

Honestly, your colleague sounds like an idiot and that’s probably apparent to everyone. So if they’re being awful on the group chat it’s probably only reflecting badly on them. Depending on what might be most appropriate in your organisation your options are probably to just ignore/ let her comments just hang in silence so she looks stupid, or send feedback to HR or her manager about her behaviour. You could also try some overly positive responses to challenge her in a way that doesn’t give her any more material… so how much you’re looking forward to joining your fantastically happy/welcoming team again - and having time with mature adults instead of a terrible threesome toddler!

Hi @DazedandConfused135
I'm sorry to hear that your colleague is a bitch.
Nobody in their right mind would be contacting a new mother, at home on maternity leave , with work related issues.
She has been so inappropriate.
First thing, there is no way you should go back to work next month.
Next thing,has your work a occupational health department? If so,ring immediately request appointment and they will certify you off indefinitely. Tell them exactly what you have said here.if you don't have that option, your GP will do the same.
You are entitled to sick pay and illness benefit so you won't be left penniless.
Finally, turn notifications off in that group and archive it as you should have nothing to do with a work group when all your time should be focussed on your post natal health and your babies

Hi all thank you for your messages, since I wrote the message I have managed to schedule a meeting with my line manager to discuss things before I come back.
My 7 month old has a lot of appointments coming up for a number of things and I'm just worried sick, but we cannot sustain living if I don't go back. Its just causing so much stress at home and DH isn't having the best of time at work either.
Just feels like one things after another.
I'm trying to schedule a DRs appointment to see if they can help but they never have any appointments.

Thank you again for your advice. And thank you for confirming my work collegue is being unfair, I didn't know if I was just being a bit sensitive with everything else going on.
She has since messaged saying she wasn't having a go and trying to make a joke out of the situation, but I've just ignored her now. Determined to just try and get my ducks in a row at home now.