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Original poster

Struggling with feelings

6 replies

Ellie0118 · 01/08/2021 14:33

I feel so stupid writing this post snd feel like it makes me sound like a petty, jealous idiot, but here goes.
Just as a back story I have 2 girls, the first we tried for a really long time with lots of sadness along the way. 2nd was much easier. I don't want anymore children but it makes me sad that I'll never be pregnant again or experience the anticipation of scans etc...
Anyway my brother met me SIL and to be honest I've always thought he could do better. For want of better words she's a spoilt diva! She can't handle her drink and can go from 0-100 having a strop for nothing. I feel like them buying a house, getting married and having a baby are just ticks on her life list. They are either cringy all over each other or it's really obvious that she irritates him!
She is the reason for so many issues within the family because elderly members of the family made it clear she wasn't liked. I know my mum and dad like my brother and I the same but at the same time it's like he's on a pedastal and they are always worried about not upsetting him. They don't particularly like her either but go along with it. She makes no effort with my kids at all and up until she's recently pregnant she's make it clear (and has pretty much said this) that she has been jealous. They are now having a baby after 8 months of trying and lots of arguments because she didn't get pregnant straight away 🙄 and I hate it!!! I hate that he is now stuck with her forever, she is the most selfish person I know and will really struggle to put someone else first. Most of all I feel like my mum and dad are going to be obsessed with their baby (due in feb) and their baby will come before mine. (I know I sound like a brat)
I just can't stop thinking about it all they time. I know deep down he is unhappy with her abs he will do EVERYTIING when the baby comes. It's ruining my maternity leave and the worst thing is that she will be finishing work when I go back. I feel jealous that she's got the excitement and I'll never have that again when she's such a horrible person. The issues with the family she has caused can't be repaired and I just totally resent her!

OP posts:
BunnyRuddington · 03/08/2021 08:51

Have you posted about this before? It sounds very familiar.

30degreesandmeltinghere · 03/08/2021 08:54

Pregnancy really is just the start. All those 'firsts' you have coming with your girls!! Absolutely amazing times ahead op....
Back away from that awful woman-she really doesn't have to figure in your life at all . Make fun plans for your family.
Look after yourself too. Lack of sleep does odd things to you!!

DinosaurDiana · 03/08/2021 09:00

You sound absolutely normal to me !
This ‘stranger’ has come in and upset your family, it can’t be taken back and repaired, it’s like that forever now. You have no choice but to put up with her.
Yes, the new baby will get lots of attention because it’s the youngest and it’s your brother’s first. Expect it. You can’t change it.
Even if you had another baby she would probably have another, are you constantly going to have another baby until yours is the last one ? Of course not.
You can see what is going to happen but you can’t do anything about it. This is a good lesson, as when your kids are older they will do things that you can see won’t turn out well, but there’s nothing you can do about it. I have had this with my son, unfortunately.
Buy a present for the baby, play the doting aunt and paint a smile on when you visit. Then go home and have your life.
Try not to think about her, don’t let the negativity affect your life 💐

Original poster
Ellie0118 · 14/08/2021 03:27

@BunnyRuddington

Have you posted about this before? It sounds very familiar.
Not posted before, this is my first time. There must be someone else out there with a horrible SIL 🤣
OP posts:
Original poster
Ellie0118 · 14/08/2021 03:28

@30degreesandmeltinghere

Pregnancy really is just the start. All those 'firsts' you have coming with your girls!! Absolutely amazing times ahead op.... Back away from that awful woman-she really doesn't have to figure in your life at all . Make fun plans for your family. Look after yourself too. Lack of sleep does odd things to you!!
You are definitely right. I just need to focus on my little family and not let her ruin it
OP posts:
Original poster
Ellie0118 · 14/08/2021 03:28

@DinosaurDiana

You sound absolutely normal to me ! This ‘stranger’ has come in and upset your family, it can’t be taken back and repaired, it’s like that forever now. You have no choice but to put up with her. Yes, the new baby will get lots of attention because it’s the youngest and it’s your brother’s first. Expect it. You can’t change it. Even if you had another baby she would probably have another, are you constantly going to have another baby until yours is the last one ? Of course not. You can see what is going to happen but you can’t do anything about it. This is a good lesson, as when your kids are older they will do things that you can see won’t turn out well, but there’s nothing you can do about it. I have had this with my son, unfortunately. Buy a present for the baby, play the doting aunt and paint a smile on when you visit. Then go home and have your life. Try not to think about her, don’t let the negativity affect your life 💐
So true. Needed to hear that
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