4th degree tear recovery help

[Tornandbroken]

Hi all. I had a 4th degree tear 12 months ago. I'm just really scared I suppose of the recovery and what this means for me in the long term. I couldn't control my bowels the first few weeks after birth and the laxatives didn't help with this. I've been doing pelvic floors every day since birth and been seeing a physio for 8 months now.

I'm just worried that I'm going to suffer incontinence and never recover. I'm terrified that I'm just going to suffer life long incontinence now even though I haven't. I just have urgency issues and have to run to the toilet for a number 2 when I do need to go.

Just feeling anxious all the time about this and can't stop worrying.

Is there any tips and positive recovery stories anyone can share with me ? Xx

I had a 4th degree tear and was lucky enough to be stitched up by a doctor who had literally been on a course about 3rd and 4th degree tears that day. I was very lucky. I had follow up with colorectal team and physio but discharged with no issues. 17 years later still no issues. It shows how important first response is and I am so sorry you are still struggling. Keep pushing for help x

@magbob thank you so much for your response. Gives me some hope! Did you do anything you feel helped your recovery? Did you do daily pelvic floors or anything else? I assume you have no issues and can hold in diarrhea too? XXX again thank you so much for replying to me

I did pelvic floor exercises, I was given lots of revolting drinks to keep my stools soft and regular and used them for a month. The surgeon who saw me in a follow up appt insisted that I should never try to hold stools in. In 17 years I haven't had any incontinence issues at all. I am aware that I'm more likely to have issues as I grow older but I'm optimistic. I eat plenty of vegetables, try to have plenty of fibre. I drink lots of water. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I was asked to take part in a discussion/research study about birth injuries. The researcher asked us if we thought warnings and info should be given to pregnant women re the possibility of birth injuries. As a group we didn't think so. Everyone's experience is so different. Oh yes, I was warned by the consultant that a further vaginal birth should be avoided. That may be something you need to consider.

@magbob I think I'm too traumatised to have another one. Especially after having IVF as well. I don't think I'll be able to handle another baby and pregnancy and birth. I know suggestions are to have a c section but I'd constantly be worried about the baby coming before the c section date.

I'm so glad you've had no issues. I've always been told by ppl I've seen that you should try and hold it in if you need to go loo for practice and to strengthen the pelvic floor.

So much inconsistent messages. To be honest I wish I had known about the possibility of a 4th degree tear so I would have been able to make a more informed decision. If I'd known is definitely had a c section as my baby was measuring big. Xx

Hello I had tearing, not 4th degree but that together with some bad birth coaching left me with incontinence. I thought I’d never be able to stop holding flatulence and stool in, I know how you’re feeling. I was due to see a specialist about it on very long waiting list. In the meantime I went absolutely crazy doing pelvic floor, I’m talking a couple of hours a day. And making sure to do all the variety of exercises that includes: back, front, back and front together, short pulses, long endurance holding, lying down, then while walking etc. I eventually got back to completely normal bowel function and cancelled the specialist appointment (took me approx 4 months of exercises to achieve this). That’s not to say you might not need more invasive treatment, but it is possible in a lot of case for it to heal by itself if you put the hard yards in.

@Bodgers thank you so much for your quick response. Your message gives me so much hope that I can also get to where you are. How many times a day do you do the pelvic floors now? Is diarrhea an issue? Or you can hold that too now? Sorry for all the questions. Sounds like you've been on such a tough journey. I just have a lot of anxiety when leaving the house in case I have an accident etc.

I still do it occasionally (like if I remember maybe a couple of times a week, more to maintain it for any future children) but that whole area is completely functioning now. As in, no issues whatsoever. So I wouldn’t be worried about leaving the house or diarrhoea at all (with the exception of maybe going for a run if I haven’t cleared that area first) as it is virtually back to the way it was pre baby.

@Bodgers how long ago did you have baby if you don't mind me asking. And would you say you were fully back to pre baby self 6 months after birth ? I'm so glad you were able to overcome all the issues.

I hope one day that can be me.

I just hope my anxiety goes away. I'm doing the pelvic floors more and more since you sent me your post in the hope that it helps me as much as it did you.

Thank you xx

Hi! I’m sorry to hear about what you’ve been through/are going through. It’s such a traumatic experience and then these still so much secrecy and shame around the whole topic (though I do think that’s improving with lots of women sharing their stories and journeys on social media- I can pass on some of the names )
I didn’t have a 4th degree tear but a 3rd degree that wasn’t repaired properly which led to much of the symptoms that you listed. I was completely traumatised by the whole thing and spent so much time online searching for positive recovery stories , it was a dark time in my life and so I am here to try and give you some hope.

Firstly it’s great that you’re seeing a women’s health physio- keep that up. If you’re not seeing much improvement do seek a second opinion (I saw 4 until I found one who I felt understood what I wanted which was to be able to work out properly) I found overall strengthening through Pilates helped as opposed to constantly focusing on pelvic floor. In fact I saw the most improvement of my pelvic floor strength when I didn’t more strength based exercises using weights.

It’s very important to try and get your stool a bit more firm- the more loose it is the harder it will be to control. It’s a challenge because if I get constipated it makes my prolapse (oh yeah sorry I also have prolapse) foods effect everyone differently but I find too much bread can cause constipation so lots of fruit and veg is important. I really wanted to get my bowel movements regular and predictable so that I wouldn’t feel so anxious about going out and about . Drinking lots or water is important too.

The next thing isn’t actually physical but it’s on the psychological impact of all this. One year after my sons birth and I was still not “better” and I was very upset by this. I had this idea that a year was the magic number and I would be back to my old self and then when I wasn’t I was just gutted. I was still reliving the birth and asking myself “ what if this that the other” Had happened. I was full of anxiety and jealousy of all the people I knew who were unscathed from birth. So I got therapy and was diagnosed with PTSD. It all made sense and I started to accept what had happened instead of constantly wishing it hadn’t. The mental side of things was definitely holding me back.

Within another year (so two years after the birth) the urge incontinence had cleared up and I was feeling so much better that we tried for another baby who was born via c section (it was a lovely experience)

Now I am almost 5 years post the traumatic birth and I am happy to say am back exercising and fully continent with no issues at all. One of the turning points for me was when I realise that internal voice worrying about the future had finally stopped!

Anyway I hope this story helps you. All my love and strength to you all as it’s very hard xx

@Immaback thank you so much for your reply. It means so much to me and your story is so helpful to me.

I also thought that after a year I would be "fixed"... but I'm not.

I am definitely better than I was. Mainly it's the urge that impacts me and it's more so when I have an upset stomach and need to run to the toilet..

I've never had constipation and do not suffer from it, it's quite the opposite for me and mainly having loose stools.. so no matter how much bread I eat, it doesn't really seem to impact my tummy much at all!

Would you be able to share what exercises you did in terms of Pilates so I could maybe try that too?

My physio has been great and I was seeing a few until I picked one I liked. I did some biofeedback and I think it's reached a point now where progress is just going to be minimal..

I have started PTNS which is meant to help with urge incontinence. It is a big commitment of 5 months but I'm willing to give anything ago.

Congratulations on baby number 2! I don't think I want another baby after what happened especially after years of IVF as well. I don't think I could do it again.

If you have any other tips I could try which you feel helped you that would also be great.

Again, I can't thank you enough for reaching out xxx

Hi @Tornandbroken sorry I missed your earlier message. I am 18 months pp now. I would say everything was completely back to normal functioning (apart from hemorrhoids which seem to come and go now, but that's life!) at about 9 months pp.

I hope you are seeing some improvements, even if minor. Just keep plugging away with it, the body is a great healer. Also interesting advice from another poster about pilates, I imagine that could really help with firming everything up internally too.

Also following this thread to see recoveries. Sorry to hear you've suffered a 4th degree tear. I am only 9 weeks post parturm and also share the same fears of lifelong incontinence issues. Have a lot of bowel urgency at the moment and finding it very challenging

Very sorry for not replying sooner!

Pilates - there is lots of free content online, I’m not sure what the situation is with sharing links on here but if you look up Megan’s Pilates on YouTube you’ll find lots of videos. I did the pregnancy one (it’s done by months) even when I wasn’t pregnant and it’s very good. If you could find and afford some local classes that wood be great. Even pregnancy ones that are gentle

On Instagram if you look up get mom strong there is an amazing woman (ashley can’t recall surname) who has her own fitness programme. Also Sarah Duvall is a physio that has a great programme. All of this is often focused on pelvic floor but also overall strength. Although you may not have any prolapse the principles are all the same with any pelvic floor injury which is to take pressure off the pelvic floor, correct your breathing and posture and the strengthen all your muscles.

I really think you need to focus on your gut health to try and address the loose stool issue. Have you tried probiotics or tried following any gut healing diets? There is a product called symprove which is like a liquid probiotic you take daily for 3 months and I (and other friends) have found it good. It’s pricey but good to reset your gut, things can feel worse for a few days before it gets better. There is a lot of info available online about gut health, if you look up gutsy and Sarah smith strength both have free content . The key to you feeling better I think will be getting bowel movements predictable and easier to control but not being so loose.

Anyway once again I hope you see improvements over time. As I’ve said I honestly never imagined I would have a normal life and be happy again (sounds dramatic but it was so consuming for the first year and a half) so do have faith that it’s not going to last forever. Feel free to dm me if you’d like to stay in touch x

@Wonderwall21 I have sent you a PM xx

@Immaback thank you. I've sent you a. PM xx