Ebf and not eating well

[muvaa]

So my baby is 3 months 2 weeks old and I've been breastfeeding but I believe I have postnatal depression and it's getting bad. I cope well most of the time, and make sure my baby is fed and clean but there are just so many things I can't bring myself to do. Eating healthy, I eat badly and I forget to take vitamins. I don't go out much, can't bring myself to take baby outside on walks etc. Baby is allergic to all the formulas we've tried as I tried to mix feed. There are just so many things I need to do, clean around the house, run errands etc and cook but I can't bring myself to do these things and I need help but I don't want to take tablets for depression or make the health visitors think I'm struggling so they keep an extra eye on me. I'm scared I'm having a bad effect on my baby, he didn't have much hair when he was born but he had more than he does now and my mum is saying it's because he's not getting enough vitamins.

You're absolutely not having a bad effect on your baby. Not at all. Your mum is really not helping by saying such ridiculous things as the comment about your baby's hair. Both my babies were born with dark hair that then completely disappeared and then the replacement hair grew incredibly slowly so much so that neither of them had a hair cut until they were over 2 years old. It's got nothing to do with nutrition.

Is your mum usually a bit thoughtless/critical like that?

Do you have a partner around at the moment?

Really sorry you're feeling like this op. I will say it is so so important to get help from the gp, is there a reason you don't want to take tablets? The HV won't be watching you, but they will be there if you need to chat etc. My mum had this and it went unchecked for years. It's so common and there is so much help out there for you! The best thing you can do for your baby is get some help, they won't be watching or judging you but just helping.
Ignore the hair comment from your mum, that's a load of shit. Babies have different amounts of hair and it thins out and thickens again, just random genetics.
In the meantime have a look at Huel, I had a friend with depression who when she felt down would have huels shakes because it gives you all the necessary nutrients if you cant bring yourself to make a meal.
If you don't feel like a walk just sit in the garden with baby and chill!
Where's baby's dad, can he help at all?
Please please look after yourself and speak to a professional, you'll thank yourself for it when you're out the other side.
My baby is almost exactly the same age and the last week I've been feeling overwhelmed and tearful and have asked my oh to pitch in more which has helped, but it's so important to look out for yourself, you can't fill anyone else's cup if yours is empty 💜

Your mother is being ridiculous, it’s perfectly normal for babies to lose their hair.
You don’t need to eat well since the baby will take everything it needs whether you have enough left for yourself or not. It’s just that you might feel better in yourself. Nothing wrong with junk food if you fancy it though.

Oh gosh - when did you last have a 'break' and what I mean is maybe leave the baby with his father and go and sit with a coffee and relax? I don't mean this flippantly but it sounds like it is all getting on top of you.

A couple of myth busters - babies do lose their first hair. And now would be normal - as they lie down it fall out where they sleep - my son looked with a monk - hair only on top!

My house isn't always clean or tidy. I try to do a quick rush job in the morning when my 5 month old is most content and it all goes downhill after.

Maybe think of quick food, rather than junk food - quick pesto pasta with some already cooked chicken or tuna? Cous cous salad, stir fry's, jacket potatoes, curry from a jar. 2 min rice in the microwave. Don't beat yourself up on food - you need food to feed your baby.

I am sure your baby is gaining weight - and that means you are doing a fab job.

Now going back to having a break. I was struggling with bottle feeding my first at 8/9 weeks old. He just wouldn't drink much, I spent much time with HV and I started to get so stressed feeding my baby. My partner watched me getting cross with my baby that he wasn't feeding. He booked a single ticket to the cinema and sent me out for 2 hours. Best thing he did and it gave me some headspace, baby was fine and he worked together on changing formula, bottles etc. So that worked for me.

Please bring your partner into this and if you are worried about the hv and after going to clinic daily for a week I was so stressed about the feeding / I was given a piece of advice - if your baby is happy and contented - then you are doing a good job.

Sorry for the rabble hope that make sense