I've always had depression for as long as I remember but I tend to manage it quite well am really good at self help etc. With the odd help here and there by meds. But ever since having my little girl a year ago it's been on and off a lot more frequently... Especially the last 4 months.
I love her so much, but I really struggle! I cry daily, I do the very bare minimum to get through the day. I make sure she's clean and fed. But not me, I neglect myself, my house and basically everything else. I find sometimes I feel like I don't even like her... I love her. But I don't enjoy being with her. I feel like a failure and a shit mum.
When I first had her, I found it hard to refer to myself as "mummy" it made me feel uncomfortable... and that lasted about 8 weeks or so.
There's something that makes me wonder if I've had PND, I have no idea! But I've referred my self to mental health services, I just wanted to know what other people's thoughts and experiences are.