Obsessively looking back

[CallieRose86]

I find myself looking back at my DD newborn photos all the time and now my mat leave is over I’m even worst...
I think I suffered PND or sleep deprivation depression in the early days and overall struggled with the transition to motherhood and now I feel Uber guilty and like I wasted my mat leave (granted covid didn’t help).

Has anyone else experienced this obsessing over what the newborn phase was like?
I think I must have regrets and I’m also scared to forget my baby as a very little baby... or maybe I’m just nuts!

I felt like this. I looked at photos and thought how couldn't I enjoy him!? Fact is I enjoy him now. You can't blame yourself for not feeling an emotion that wasn't available to you at that time. I think the baby stage is so very hard and part of the challenge is just getting through it. It is a little bit sad, it feels like it could and should be magical but for me it was more like a flat ground hog day with emotional, physical and mental torture thrown in.

Arh Summerhouse it’s so true, there’s so much pressure to be happy but the truth is babies are hardwork and you’re scared most of the time and sleep deprived so you’re not yourself.
I feel like I want a ‘do over’ but I should just enjoy her now and stop this otherwise in another year I’ll think I spent all her later baby months looking back and not being present.

Absolutely!! Mine are 10 and 8 and life is hilarious, fascinating, fun and easy. I honestly think make the most of the good moments but don't waste a second of guilt on them being few and far between in the baby stages. You have so much happiness ahead of you.

My DD is 7 month now. She is such a sweet happy baby now but definitely wasn't like that the first few month. Sometimes I wished I was the one going to work just to have a break from her. I feel guilty sometimes that I just wanted her to be sleeping most of the time as she use to cry and cry when awake. Now that I am starting to fully enjoy my time with her and the maternity leave I'm not looking forward to go back to work at all and wish I could be on maternity for longer.

Aww I feel you that’s how we were, it’s bitter sweet isn’t it.
Enjoy the time you have left and hold her close.
I’m trying to think positively now because I can’t change what has been and at the time it’s so hard xx