Do I have PND?

[Chazzy19876]

Hi all, I know I should be properly assessed rather than asking the internet but I just wondered whether anyone had had a similar experience.

Backstory - started trying for baby June 2019, fell pregnant August 2019, suspected ectopic followed by surgery, and subsequently miscarrying in September 2019. Fell pregnant with now DD in October 2019. Was very anxious in pregnancy, felt relaxed for about a month and the COVID hit. Lockdown was incredibly hard for me as I thrive on social interactions. DD born in July 2020, traumatic birth which resulted in an EMCS because DD was ‘not responding’.

DD is generally a joy and has been a good night sleeper, and breastfeeding was good and did it until she was 8 months. However naps have always been awful, I’ve tried everything, all the books, sleep consultants, and today naps were crap and there was crying from me and DD. Saw my sister earlier and she commented that DD looked exhausted. I feel like such a failure. I have genuinely tried everything. Explained this to my sis on verge of tears and she said oh maybe just an off day.

I’m sorting out going back to work and my boss hates me, dreading it as the last year has been such a relief in that sense. DH and I bicker and I don’t think deep down he is all that happy with mad

Worried I’m a terrible mother, wife and will be terrible at my job when I go back.

Today I was walking around in a bit of a daze and just thought what is the point of me? I’m so shit at all this.

You need to give yourself some slack honestly. It’s so so tough especially when you have a bad sleeper! I have one that just was never a big napper and every night it’s a battle to get her asleep and it takes it’s toll on you. You are not a bad parent because you have tried lots of things, that just shows you are a good one! I do think though if things are getting too much book in with the gp for a chat, but do be kind to yourself and also make sure you are getting some time for just you too to rest and relax!

Thank you @Yummymummy2020 for your kind words. I think I will try and speak to the GP tomorrow. Just feels awkward and scary but I’ve done it on here so perhaps that’s the first step.